In 2004, my husband accepted a job in China and returned in 2005 to marry me and went back to China after 10 days. I visited him in 2006 and felt he was distant. He promised me through the years that he would get me to live with him China and start a family, only to change his mind everytime the date of any supposed departure drew near. At first he did not give me financial support and was only sending for payment for the house and his credit card bills. He only started to send me money when we got married saying it was my right anyway. He earned really well in China but he was stingy and made me feel I had to beg.
I felt the emotional distance through the years. I kept asking if he had someone else but he would laugh and deny it until I found out in 2009 that he was living with someone in china. I got to open all his email accounts and saw what transpired in the years he was emotionally distant to me. I found out that he was in a relationship with someone there when he married me and had engaged in perverse sexual activities and relationships through the years. I even directed him to attend Sex Addicts Anonymous in HK. He said in 2009, we were gonna fix our marriage, only to find out he was living with someone and he was also looking for other partners (I posted a dummy personal ad in Craigslist and he answered after a month while we were supposedly fixing our marriage) I admit I was in denial all the time, thinking we could fix this and that I loved him that much and I can just let it go and accept him back. But after 3 months of exchanging emails back and forth while I was getting ready to live with him in that country, he dropped the bomb and said he already tried his best but i just have to let him go.
I am asking for an annulment since 2009 but as always he has his alibis like he would talk about the payment scheme with the lawyers. It has been three years now and that's the same alibi I get. Last time, his dad got sick that he had to go home. We talked but as always, he provided me with no definite timeline to fix things. He has always been distant this way even to his family (brothers). Nobody knows his exact address in China, but a common friend who works with him told me that he is with someone else.
Through the years, even if he keeps sending payment for our house, and sometimes money for me, he always makes me feel that I have to beg for it.
We got this house under his name when we were not married yet. He said that this house is mine anyways. But it is all verbal.
How can I pressure him for an annulment--since I feel he will always resort to ignore dealing with it?
I want to ask for a fixed amount of support and payment for the house. I want to be reassured of this? can I file anything to pressure him on this?
Can I get the house even if he got it under his name when he was still single? We are still paying monthly amort for this.
You see, I did love this man and been very patient with him through the years thinking we could fix things, but he always resorts to ignoring my emails and would only answer if I get mad already and sometimes will not answer at all.
I think he has borderline personality disorder or an antisocial behavior, and he would resort to perverse sexual activities on the side.
I believe I should start standing up for myself and would like to get POEA to help me or what, but where should I start? I want to know my rights as an abandoned wife. We dont have a kid yet.
My thinking now is if he can support someone there, a mistress, then he should give me what is due me.
If the annulment pushes thru, can I still ask him to pay this house in full?
I am working but I am planning to study soon. So I might not be able to pay for the house should he decide to stop sending support.
I need your counsel regarding this. Thank you in advance.