I have done many mistakes in my life, I know. I am again in a wrong cube but I am content and happy. Yet, I know, it’s another mistake but I’d enter anyway. I know it is a great error but I don’t want even to go out. It is all about love! And who in this world doesn’t need love and to be loved? I believe that it is only a key for total happiness because it brings total contentment in life.
It is not an accident to end me up in this situation but it is all destiny, I believe. Yes, I have a family but they also created their own, both my mother and my father. I am a legal daughter but it’s always me who begs a little love and attentions from both of my parents. Luckily, God sent me always angels like my grandparents, friends I met, relatives and classmates that shared a lot of lessons and experiences in all my journeys. My infancy is a shame to tell. Until, I met a man in December 1991 and got relationship with him. Later, year 1993, we decided to live together to create our own family too. Year after, I got pregnant and we moved on under the house of my mother with my stepfather and half brothers. My mother says that it is better if in that situation, I am so close to her. I am on my 7th month of pregnancy when an event comes in our place. It was a Mass Wedding of Councillor Jun Ferrer in our District (our address: 5 Pook Masagana,Bahay Toro,Project 8,Quezon City) where they invite all couples or those living in one roof without marriage. My companion requested me for the sake of the child. At my age that time, don’t understand all the rules and to tell the truth, I don’t believe in marriage and I don’t want to. Not by force but if it is for the sake of the child, I agree to marry him. July 31, 1994 at GSIS Multi Purpose Hall in Project 8, Quezon City, I was married to Amelito Honorio Maranan who was born on January 2, 1972.
September 19, 1994, my first child was born and was named Emerine Genesis Maranan. My husband was been a good father. After a year, another child was born. It was August 4, 1995 and was named Ana Esmereil Maranan. But that same year, my husband began to show off his character. He drinks a lot and spends lot of his time with friends. He began taking marijuana with my friend Butch(he told me) and with “Tisoy”, famous addict in our place. The worst thing is, he got tattoo which he know very well that I don’t appreciate man with tattoo. That same year, we started to quarrel. Until, I decided to work. We already move to another house but it is only rented. Not actually a good house, it was a squatter’s house and a small one for a family. He is working as welder in construction or by contract and his salary is not even enough to buy milk for two children. In the Philippines, the wife or the married woman who wants to work must carry the surname of the husband. Our marriage certificate was one of the documents ruined by the typhoon Rosita that passed in that year. I went to Local Registry Office to ask for another copy of our marriage certificate so I can proceed to all my documents to start working. They don’t have the copy. I don’t have time, I need to work, so, I declare single in all my applications and use all my maiden documents. My husband continues with his vices until one day, I become so bored with him. I decided to separate from him. I gave my first daughter to my mother and the second to Ate Remy, our neighbour with a verbal pact that I will get soon my daughter as soon as I got enough money to support them. He asked forgiveness and another chance. And so I forgive him, for the sake of my daughters and also to save our family, if it is possible. I don’t want my children grow following all the footsteps of my life. All back to normal and ok after that and another daughter came in the year 1997, July 4 and was named Eunice Judiel Maranan. We transferred in another squatter’s area, a bit far from Mamma. Our address was 14 Apollo St. Tandang Sora, Quezon City. There, he became worst. He started taking shabu (poor man’s cocaine) with his cousins and done their session inside our house in front of me while my daughters were sleeping. Don’t know what to say and what to do. I kept silent and don’t uttered any words against him but I started also to loose any feelings to him. The word “respect” almost loosing. Imagine us in that worst place where he put us. When it is raining, it is flooding and the waters came from two dirty canals across just under our wooden floor. We have no toilet, if we are in necessities, must ask permission to his cousin’s wife with a very bad character whom our neighbour (neighbour means in squatter area “one wall neighbour” for we are using only one wall). At the left were a piggery just one meter and a half from our plywood wall. Imagine how we eat, how we sleep, and how we breathe. It’s a hell. Really hell! Sometimes he is good but most of the times, we quarrel always. One moment had come, he received a contract work far from the city (in Calatagan, Batangas), and so we see each other once in a month. To escape from our inferno house, I stayed outside with my children; in the park or to my mother’s house. Seeing him once in a month with a salary on hand is good. But as wife, I must satisfy a husband if he asks sex (that becomes an obligation for me). I am not anymore happy with the situation but how can I told him? How can I tell to anyone? I don’t want critics, so I suffer silently for there are children in the middle of all these. October 31,1999 was born a son named John Robert Maranan but day after, I had known from the wife of his boss that he has another girl in Calatagan and his money were finished and has credit on them. He had worked three weeks in that place without going home and he arrived with only 800 pesos for us and it is not a salary, it is a debt from his boss... My children eat only rice and tamari while he is away for we have only a very small amount of budget and we had lots of debt from the stores for our necessities. And it really hurts me knowing that he gambles, he drinks and give merienda to the girl and I don’t want to know what else why he finished his money. I really fed up on that day. I separate from him immediately and go to my father in Novaliches. Even my stepmother was jealous on me and my half-brother, Michael; I stayed there with my children and a new born son. I hate him. I am not jealous but I am with the kids 24 hour of each day, they are studying, eating and they have their necessities and he, as father having that life? Obviously, he will say sorry and ask again reconciliation. I gave him another chance but that time with a pact, we will live together only because the children need a father in a family and that’s all. I finished with my relationship to him as my husband or any other else. I talked to him that everything is finished between us. I told him that I don’t love him anymore and all my feelings died already. I know it hurt him but it is my decision so I will continue live with my kids or I will die soon in all my difficulties with him. We moved for a moment in my brother’s house so somebody may rent our hell house in that squatter’s area. Engelbert Molina is my only legal brother but we had a misunderstanding because of his wife,Maryjane Vicera. I thought Amelito will change but he become worst as worst as before. I decided to work again and year 2001, I was given opportunity to go out in the country. Since, I am not using my husband’s surname, I used all my documents as single from passport and all legal papers without declaring that I am married and had four children. I didn’t give any interest anymore to have a copy of my marriage certificate, since also we had this crucial situation. I don’t even visited anymore our local registry office or in National Census to ask any copy but I was once visited the office of our councillor who conducted our mass wedding and I had talked to the secretary, Sioning (who died after some months after) and she said that during their transfers from office to another office, maybe our marriage certificate are one of those they’ve lost. For me, it is all ok even doesn’t exist anymore. I go back and forth to Europe and so content that I support my children’s needs. Amelito didn’t work anymore, he joined Guardians and he got more peers and become more alcoholic and more addicted to cocaine. So many experiences with him that really hurts me inside but I must keep silent always for the sake of my innocent children. It was 2003; I met REYNALDO SANTILLAN, brother of Zarina, wife of my half brother in my mother side, Eugene Pineda. I found friendship with him until I fall in love. Yes, after all those years that my heart so hard as rock, with him it becomes soft. It is a big mistake loving him. It should not be but I didn’t control my feelings. The attractions were so very strong. Until something happened to us and it was repeated until I got pregnant. I know that he has family too, in Nueva Ecija and he has one daughter but he said that it was a forced marriage and under the religion of the girl so he has opportunity to get annulled soon the marriage. He said he loved me too very much. It was really a sin but if I will abort the child, God will not even forgive me. I hide it. I returned to Italy for some months, work and earned some money for a plan to completely left my first husband and live alone with all of my children and this one in my womb. Before Amelito will know that I am pregnant (he will surely know that it is not his because we’re not having sex anymore since we made a pact.) I’ve been so good to him; I gave him many things and money and told him to visit his parents and relatives in Batangas. I brought him in the station and when I got home, I got all my things and my children and we left. I cut all the communications even to my mother and all my brothers. I changed the school of my children and we transfer secretly in a place where no one could see with the help of Reynaldo. To my surprise, he decided to live with us in 17 Maliwanag St. in San Vicente, UP Teacher’s Village Quezon City and be a father to my children and said he want to start a new life with the baby to be born and with us. At first, it was a total hurt to my children and it is not automatic to accept the situation and even Reynaldo and a baby in their life. But thanks to God, it goes smooth all the way. It was June 4, 2004 when we decided to get married in Quezon City Hall as his promise to me and he said that it is from the bottom of his heart. He said his marriage to Jezabel is not valid. I am the one he really loves so he wants to marry me. So fool to believe that and so convinced that my marriage doesn’t exist. Ma.Gabrielle Santillan was born on August 22, 2004 but after a month, I had known from a friend that the family of Reynaldo was in the house he was before and once in awhile he went there and sleep beside Jezabel, and got another child, too! I feel I was used for interests. We quarrelled and sent him away from our house. So furiously end up my relationship with him. After all everything I helped him in all his applications to go abroad, from papers to money and all the clothing’s and special needs. I’m just that foolish lady. We moved to CP Garcia. I bought a small house in UP Garden. I know it is not legal to have a house there but for the moment I need a shelter for all of us for only 10,000 pesos. There all started that I suffer a painful hemorrhagic ovarian cyst until I was operated in May 2005. I returned to Mama’s under care together with my five children. After I was healed, I returned to Italy in March 2006. I got my permit to work for the first time so to stay longer in August 2006 and started to work permanently a month after. It was December 2007 when we transferred to Blk 1 Lot 10 Sagana Homes, Culiat, Tandang Sora Quezon City as our permanent residential house. My five children live there together with my mother and no one else. On and off to Italy and Philippines until August 2009, I met an Italian that wakes up again my heart. His name was Mauro Chiesura. I thought everything for us will not end into serious relationship. He wants to marry me. That made me crazy. At that moment, I loose my job and had finished my contract. I don’t want to return to Philippines and forgot Italy for nothing. Yes, I have a feelings on him, he is good and has all the rights to be loved. He is the man you will not hurt. But how? I returned to Philippines and had tried to get record of my marriage certificate to Amelito Maranan if it exist from our local civil registry. Yes, there was. I don’t know what had happened but appeared my marriage certificate with him. I didn’t investigate nor ask questions. I tried also to get my marriage certificate to Reynaldo and there was! I tried to get my record in national statistics office and appeared that I got two marriages. I was in panic! Afraid of this, I returned to Italy. But I have no courage to tell Mauro that I can’t marry him. It was January 2010 for the third time and he said for the last time he will ask if we can marry. If I will not answer then I will not see him anymore. I don’t want to loose him, so I said yes. I used my money to pay someone to get my singleship record inside the National Statistics Office. It was a big success. I brought to Philippine Embassy in Milan to have a red ribbon and to have a permission to marry an Italian. It was another success for they didn’t traced all my marriages. They based everything from all the documents I used and passed from 2001 when I entered Italy from which I declared single and never been married. When all the papers needed were finished, I was married for the third time on September 4,2010. For Mauro it was real and a serious marriage. I was so happy then, but in my conscience it’s better to live in reality. My third marriage was the most happiest day happened in my life although I cried inside because I know I entered once again into more complicated life where there were no escape. Mauro knows everything in me except the story of our house in Quezon City where my children were living presently; it was a gift of an Italian Old man who was in love with me. One day, if they will meet and will tell to Mauro, maybe that could end my world. He only knows that I bought it. And also I said to him that my first marriage is in the process of annulment but in truth I don’t even act for the first step because I was afraid in scandal and afraid that I may end up in cell for Bigamy or Polygamy. About the second marriage, I told him that it is invalid and it was nullified already but in reality, its not. I went to Office of Legal Aid in UP Diliman for free assistance but I didn’t reveal all the story. I revealed only the second marriage that I want to be nullified. I told lies that Reynaldo fooled me. I didn’t declare that I got married first before I marry him. At the end, I let it fall the case.
My everyday life with Mauro for two years is an everyday joy. My love for him is like a plant that grows and developed into more beautiful. He helped me a lot especially when it comes to my children. As of now, it’s been a year that I am not working because of crisis but he never changed.
With his goodness to me and to my children, I want to be with him forever without any worries with our marriage. I want validity to our marriage in Italy or in the Philippines. I want to annulled my marriage to my first husband and be nullified the second marriage. Don’t know how to start…….
First, it’s a big money and I have no work for the moment. I am supporting five children and all of them were studying. Two of them were in College.
What I am praying right now that God may do miracles in my life.
Sending you this with hope that you could help me.
Evangeline Cruz Molina
Born: March 25,1973
Present Residence: Via Travazzoi 11
32100 Belluno, Italy