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UNMARRIED. Father of my child promised to support our child but has not done so. Now, he had his girlfriend pregnant. Should I be worried? What to do?

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singlemom5075


Arresto Menor
[b]Ok, here's the whole story:

This man and I had a relationship way back high school. We broke up after about a couple of months. But we are good friends and sometimes we hang out. Last 2010, we kept on hanging out but hindi kami mag syota. Para lang, pero walang title na girlfriend-boyfriend. Now, January2011, I got pregnant. I told him, he denied my child and me.

To make the long story short, nanganak na lang ako, wala syang naibigay kahit piso man lang. Alam ng pamilya nya ang nangyari pero walang ginawa din ang pamilya. His excuse was "She's not my girlfried. How was I to know the baby is mine?" I know, I know, he has a point. Kasi nga dba nabuntis nga ako sa kanya kahit hindi ko sya partner, so anong assurance nya nga hindi din ako pumapatol sa iba? PERO I ASSURE YOU PEOPLE, the baby is his. And wala akong ibang lalake.

Anyway, yun na nga, nanganak na ako (October2011) and after a month, nag contact sya sa akin saying he's sorry, admiting that he was just scared of admitting kasi nga malaking responsibilidad ang maging ama. I forgave him but hindi alam ng pamilya ko na nag co-contact na naman kami. He sees our daughter at night when everyone is asleep, that's the time na maka pasok sya sa bahay para lang matignan o mayakap ang bata na natutulog. Pa tago-tago na he sees our child kasi nga kontra sya ng pamilya ko. Again, hindi kami mag syota pa rin. But we still do the same things (typing this makes me want to puke).

Now, sinabi na nya sa mga friends nya na sa kanya ang baby. Alam na ng pamilya nya na he admitted that the child is indeed his. All in all, everyone knew he lied the first time and now he's admitting na sa kanya nga ang bata. Pero he's not supporting, wala syang naibigay kahit piso sa amin o sa bata. Hindi naman kami nanghingi (ayaw ng pamilya ko manghingi sa kanila kasi nga dba, nakakahiya yung nabuntis ako na hindi kami let alone nag deny sya). But he told his friends and maraming naka witness na sinabi nga niya na he will provide for our daughter when he gets a job (graduating na sya ng college, he just turned 26 lol). May kaya naman ang pamilya nila at hindi naghihirap pero parang walang paki lang talaga or ewan ko lang. I don't know if it matters na may kaya ang pamilya nila, wala kasi akong alam sa mga demanda or what.

Come November2012, he introduced our daughter to his family. It wasn't formal or anything. Dinala lang talaga nya kami sa kanila at yun na yon. Nakita ng pamilya nya na andoon kami etc. Ay oo nga pala, noong nanganak ako, bumisita ang sister-in-law nya sa akin sa hospital, I don't know if naawa sya sa akin or talagang curious lang sya makita ang baby.

Nagkalabu-an ang contact namin the following month, nalaman ko na may syota na pala sya January2013. When I found out, nag deny sya. I asked the girl myself, inamin nya. At hindi alam ng babae na may anak na pala ang guy. But still, kasi bata pa ang babae (19yrs old) hindi sya nakipag hiwalay. Wala na akong magawa, sa kanila na yon. It was a mess after that. Makikipag agawan ng pwesto sa buhay ng father ng baby ko. Like, gusto nya na sya talaga ang mauna kesa sa anak namin. Sabi nya sa akin na ok lang mag contact kami ng father ng baby ko basta about sa baby. Pero pag sila na, nag bra-brainwash sya, like parang he wants him away from our child. She keeps him busy.

The last time nakita ng father ang baby ko was March2013 when I asked him to babysit for me kasi may lakad akong importante at walang makabantay (my family doesnt know about all of this). Doon sa bahay nila dinala ko ang baby at doon sya nag babysit together with his mom and mga pamangkin nya.

NOW HERE'S THE PART where hindi ko na alamg kung anong gagawin:
May2013 na ngayon. I heard rumors na pregnant daw ang girlfriend. I personally asked the father of my child about this and he said, "Ewan ko. Sabi nila buntis daw pero hindi ko alam. Sinabi lang ng kaibigan nya sa akin na buntis daw sya pero sya mismo walang sinabi sa akin. Hiwalay kasi kami ngayon." Buttt, I have no idea if he's just joking kasi binawi naman nya. Sabi nya "Hahaha joke lang! Hindi siya buntis. Kaw naman hindi mabiro!" Pero I doubt it. Ah basta ewan! Hindi ko talaga alam kung buntis nga bah ang babae or hindi.

NOW MY QUESTIONS IS:
Can I file a case against him? Or kahit ano para assured ako na talagang maka support sya sa anak namin. Like something, anything!!! Crying or Very sad pirma nya or papers stating that he admits being our daughter's father and entitled sya sa responsibilities as the father. Kasi sabi ng friends ko (ewan ko lang kung tama, wala talaga akong alam) na mas mabuti earlier ako mag file ng ganyan kasi it's going to be complicated na if ever nga buntis ang babae at papakasalan nya. Dapat daw before sya ma kasal sa iba, may assurance na ang anak namin para wala ng problema sa future at siguradong mabibigyan talaga ng education or whatever ang anak namin.


**I apologize kasi medyo parang pang-MMK na toh lol wala kasi talaga akong alam ng mga ganito eh at sa mga circle of friends ko, ako lang ang may anak. At wala din akong alam na may ka pareha sa sitwasyon ko dito sa amin.

I'm only 22, haven't graduated yet kasi nga nabuntis. But I will pursue my studies this coming June, God willing. Our daughter is now 1yr and 7mos. The father is 26, ang girlfriend, 19. I have noooo idea if the age helps lol obviously, wala talaga akong alam sa mga ganito. I come from a family of lawyers but I'm afraid to ask. And they don't usually talk about their cases, malalaman ko lang na murder pala, drug cases, illegal possession of firearms, homicide, theft etc pero not the details and NEVER talaga ako nakarinig about anything regarding with an illegitimate child or any paternity-related case. HELP! Crying or Very sad

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attyLLL


moderator
tough situation, but family is always there to help you.

the legal remedy would be to file a petition for compulsory recognition and support. the reverse side is that he becomes a part of your child's life. make sure he's worthy.


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singlemom5075


Arresto Menor
I am so grateful for my family. But sabi nga ng mom ko, they won't be around forever para sagapin kami ng anak ko.

Thank you, Atty. But ano bang difference sa petition for filiation at ang petition for compulsory recognition and support?

And what are the ways na ma acknowledge nya ang anak namin? Through writing bah or something else?
Sorry, wala talaga akong alam.

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attyLLL


moderator
those petitions are the same.

if he is willing, get him to file an affidavit of acknowledgment at the civil registrar


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Warning and Disclaimer: I am not your lawyer; and you are not my client. With the limitations of an  Internet forum, a thorough review of your concern is not possible. View my comments at YOUR OWN RISK. It is best to actually retain a lawyer for your individual concerns.
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concepab


Reclusion Perpetua
make sure about your action. Sabi nga ni Attorney, he will become part of your child's life. If God’s will na iba ang mapangasawa mo, hindi madadala ng bata ang name ng magiging asawa mo… well unless papayag ang father na mapalitan yun at isunod dun sa magiging asawa. Just in case lang naman Very Happy

Good luck! m3

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singlemom5075


Arresto Menor
Ok Atty, thank you. Pero mas may assurance ba ako sa petition for compulsory recognition and support? Kasi nga dba compulsory?

And also, if may affidavit of acknowledgment galing sa lalake, surname ko pa rin bah ang dadalhin ng anak ko?

Annnd last question po, if ever mag file ako ng petition for compulsory recognition and support and also yang affidavit of acknowledgment, ma aapektahan po bah ang papers ng anak ko sa embassy? Kasi may pending papers pa kasi ang anak ko para Canada (God willing), hinabol ang papers nya after I gave birth to her. Will this affect her chances of getting a visa?

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singlemom5075


Arresto Menor
Hi concepab, thanks for your comment. Uhm, hindi naman talaga surname ng lalake ang dinadala ng anak ko. Surname ko Smile

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attyLLL


moderator
a title of a petition is not as important as the allegations it contains, so you can entitle it simply as 'petition' it will have the same effect.

i cannot speak about how a foreign government will treat your visa application, but it has been the experience of others that foreign govts ask for documentation that the other parent has consented to sole custody.


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Warning and Disclaimer: I am not your lawyer; and you are not my client. With the limitations of an  Internet forum, a thorough review of your concern is not possible. View my comments at YOUR OWN RISK. It is best to actually retain a lawyer for your individual concerns.
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singlemom5075


Arresto Menor
Hmm. This is hard Sad cge po, Atty. Thank you for your help! God speed!

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