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INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks

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1 INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Wed Jul 24, 2013 4:47 am

revou


Arresto Menor
Hi, to all the lawyers on this forum, I badly need your help or advise.

I married my wife in the first quarter of 2003.  I left for the States right after I got married and stayed  there for 3 years to work. My wife stayed here in the Philippines. I send her money regularly or anytime she asks for an amount, for whatever emergency she needs it for.  We had constant communications, typically a married relationship only struggling because of the long distance relationship.

I came back to the Philippines for good in 2006.  To make the story short, in the span of 4 years from 2006, we had 3 children all born C-section.  I love my wife and children, specially that they were not born in the normal way.  I always have that adrenalin rush during each of my children were born.  I saw an excerpt in youtube about how a C-section is done and that made me love my wife more.  She makes me proud for being strong to bear my children. It made me resolve to strive more for her and for my kids.

I am not rich nor wealthy, every C-section hurt my pocket very badly.  As the days progress to this writing the struggle to live and support them is not funny at all.  whilst my children are growing, proportionally so are the demands for their needs. My income is not stable and I am not getting younger. I used to enjoy larger income away from home.  But since I choose to stay to be closer to my family, that struggle helps my health deteriorate. I borrowed and loaned from establishments to help me move them across this river of life.

Recently, in the first week of July, 2013.  We had a casual talk with my wife but unfortunately she made a slip of the tongue. I followed up with a series of questions only for her to realize that she could no longer back out but to tell the truth or to lie to be consistent.  I made her confess.  I learned from her confessions that while I was in the US, maybe sometime 2004 or 2005 (she refuse to remember) A personnel from the bank where I used to send her money, asked her for a date. This man is married (and my wife refuses to remember his name as well). She told me that the Guy called her office and the apartment we rented and was very insistent. When I asked her where the Guy got her number she said she did not give her number at all and surmised that maybe perhaps he got it from the bank files since he is the releasing officer in charge of that bank. (I asked to myself, files should be confidential and not for personal advantage).

What hurt me more is the next series of revelations. Thinking that it was only for a dinner date, she agreed to go with him. They met after work, and the Guy from the bank drove him straight to a motel. Whatever the next details were, will have no more relevance to me since only both of them knows what really happened inside. However my wife kept insisting that nothing happened and that, that date was the first and the last. I want to end the story here.

Here are my questions:

These happened way back 2004-2005 I can only estimate since my wife refuses to remember. I don't know the frequency they dated and went into a motel. I only heard and based it from the revelations of my wife.  Today is 2013, meaning my wife hid this incident away from me for 8 years. That could be the reason for her selective dementia. Will this story still merit a case?  If yes, What is the best case to file. Who shall I file a case against?  both of them?

Can I file a case against the man and the Bank where he works, for using the phone information of my wife in their files for his personal motives without adhering to the privacy of clients information?  Remember this is a bank where depositors infos should be protected privately.
The Guy should not have used this phone in calling my wife for a date. (I wonder at this writing if this Guy still works in this bank?)

I plan to divorce or file for legal separation against my wife for the reason of infidelity. Will a case  progress on this premise?

I do not care about my 3 children anymore, they should not have been born today had I known of this incident earlier.  The fact that both of them ended in a motel, my wife could have somehow connived or agreed in principle during their petty talks on the phone, even if she insisted that nothing happened. She had an affair after we got married. With this knowledge my ultimate trust in her as my wife is irreparable.

I could sue the Guy or the Bank for Millions of pesos to pay for the future of my children who are going to be the casualty of this infidelity. Money has no value to equate My struggle and mental anguish because of this infidelity.

Please I need legal advise on this.  Thank you.

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2 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Wed Jul 24, 2013 12:30 pm

AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
Too bad! but infidelity is not a ground for an annulment nor divorce! especially if you don't have a strong evidence that your wife committed adultery. Your case will not prosper!
You are still obligue to give maintenance to your children even if you don't care about them anymore as you said!
One thing for sure she can sue you! if you abandon your children.

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3 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Wed Jul 24, 2013 11:15 pm

revou


Arresto Menor
I need a Legal advise not an opinion from  someone who also asks for legal advise.

I was an OFW, somehow there should be protection for me on situations like this.  The bank is now offering services for OFWs, managing their money and other related services.  How safe is every OFW's records in this bank?  Anywhere of my story above, there could be some legal means that I could file a case against at least the bank, the bank personnel or my wife.

Proof and evidence of adultery would be bleak because my wife hid it for a long time, burying every detailed memory of their affair which is admissible to court.  The point is that, within our marriage, she had an affair with a married man.  That married man used the bank records specifically her phone number, to call her which started their illicit affair.

If there are no laws that protects anyone with similar story above, then I guess the person who works in the bank can just do it to anybody anytime.  And if this happens to you, would you just be contented of getting a comment of “Too bad” your case will not prosper?   Well, what case would prosper with that story above?  I want my feelings justified with the truth.  My wife, herself, made the confession to me to release the tension and guilt which she kept for a long time.  Give me a legal option!    For long 8 years she kept this incident hidden and I understand the guilt feeling within her, with that length of time, has already subsided as if nothing happened.  This has been embedded in her system already.  When she told me about this, it was new to me.  I could not file a case then because I had no knowledge about it.  So I am taking action now. No matter how late I knew about it their what you call “Too bad -- your case will not prosper-- AFFAIR” should not go unanswered.

With regards to my children, I did not say I will abandon them.  I no longer have choice since they are already here.  With the mental anguish that I am experiencing right now, I want  to award them with something, since they will be the casualties.  I could abandon them by committing suicide and I guess there would not be a case that my wife could pursue since I would be dead at that time.  Or I could just shoot the Guy and burn down the bank before I do that.

Thanks anyway for being the first to comment AWV.

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4 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:23 am

AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
Excuse me! I am not giving you an opinion! I am telling you frankly your friggin case will not prosper! paranoia does not give you right to annul/divorce your wife in any court of law!

you said;
"I do not care about my 3 children anymore, they should not have been born today had I known of this incident earlier. The fact that both of them ended in a motel, my wife could have somehow connived or agreed in principle during their petty talks on the phone, even if she insisted that nothing happened. She had an affair after we got married. With this knowledge my ultimate trust in her as my wife is irreparable."

Which only means you are no longer interested to support/maintain them!

Some people here are lawyers and some may just have experience with some cases as such. You'll be lucky if some lawyers in their frame of mind will even listen to your idiotic problem! reading your statement above is enough for people to realised you have NO strong case! what's the point of asking others opinions if you think you already know the answers to your questions?

You also said;
"I could abandon them by committing suicide and I guess there would not be a case that my wife could pursue since I would be dead at that time. Or I could just shoot the Guy and burn down the bank before I do that."

With all the statement you said openly that runs through your mind, only proves you are insane! IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO! WHY COME HERE AND ASK? HIRE A BLOODY LAWYER SO HE/SHE CAN HAVE A HARD TIME HIMSELF/HERSELF!

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5 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:33 am

AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
Bare mind that INFIDELITY is not ground for an annulment! you should have a strong evidence against your wife if you are suing her for an adultery! But the way you express yourself with a lot of anger? I doubt you will even win the case agalinst your wife! In the end? you may end up just shooting yourself! Evil or Very Mad

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6 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:42 am

AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
Read more from here to find your excuse on how to get rid of her!

https://sites.google.com/site/newfilipinosite/annulment-divorce-law-in-philippines

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7 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:56 am

revou


Arresto Menor
Hey, AWV, you know I feel so special that you waste so much time with an idiotic, insane and a paranoid person.  Could your bloody site help a hurt person? No case would prosper I understand you perfectly, AWV, that is from your point of view.  Are you legal Authority in this forum?  Are your “advise” absolutely authentic for me to put a period on my questions?  If you are professional enough you could feel that you are conversing with a hurt person.  I am just holding on the optimistic side of my system hoping to find means of alleviation to what I am already feeling right now.  I did not know that this forum would just add more insults rather give a Legal advise.  Well, what can I do... this is free.

Let’s say my wife’s confessions are true?  Just take out these words “idiotic, insane and a paranoia” on me and be professional. Don’t get me into your nerves nor take this personally nor add more relative words to your existing ones.  If you do, you would be leading me to believe that you belong to that family of adulterers that’s why you are in this forum to protect them as well.  
You have Legal Separation under no. 8.  I just need that expounded.  I need to know if this would prosper with Legal Separation. If you can’t help please don’t waste your time on me by focusing on my confused statements and my mistakes.  If you can not help please do not reply anymore with insults. Thanks. LOL.

What are the grounds for legal separation?
There are ten (10) grounds on which a petition of for Legal Separation may be filed.
number 8 - Sexual infidelity or perversion.

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8 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:20 am

AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
GOOD LUCK ON THAT! BELIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE! YOU ARE BETTER OFF TO FIND THE BEST LAWYER IN TOWN THAN PUTTING UP ON A FREE ADVICE WEBSITE! I DOUBT ANY LAWYER WILL WIN YOUR CASE! Twisted EvilNOTICED? NO ONE ELSE EVEN BOTHER TO ANSWER YOUR INSANE QUESTIONS! :PSO I AM OFF AS WELL! Sleep

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9 Re: INFIDELITY --- need advise, thanks on Tue Jul 30, 2013 6:28 pm

attyLLL


moderator
revou, i hope you can ride out this angry, painful episode in your life. Perhaps your wife learned her lesson that your family is the most important thing as shown that she has stood by all of you for 8 years since 2005.

you can file a case for damages against the guy, but i foresee a lot of evidence issues.


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