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Child Custody

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1 Child Custody on Thu Aug 01, 2013 4:10 pm

distresseddad


Arresto Menor
Good day,

I would like to get professional advice regarding child custody. My wife and I are separated(not legally)for almost a year now. During the time that we were still together my son have been sickly and gets hospitalized like every 3-4 month or even less. Almost all my salary and savings almost always goes to the hospitalization of my child. The last time that my son got sick and hospitalized we had a big fight, i confronted her because of negligence. She left our home to go back to her mother who at that time were renting out a house near us, she also took my child with her. I have tried to get her back and even begged her for us to be a family again because i dont want my son to grow up with a broken family.For over a month i always go to their house and borrow my son after i get home from work at around 1030am then return him by 330pm as i need to sleep because i work at night. And during weekends on my restdays my son stays with me.Right now my son is living with me as my wife allowed it on condition that I take my son to her from time to time. She let me have custody of my child when he got sick again and had to use a nebulizer for over a week. I believe this pulmonary issue my son had was because of her parents smoking inside their house. I even found an astray on the room where my son sleeps.When my wife let me have custody of my son, he has never been hospitalized again(i have my son with me for 10 months already) and i have been on a much better financial situation. My problem with her, even when we are are still together is commitment to taking care of the child our child. shes been very negligent of my son's well being causing him to be sickly, another problem is right now they went back to their old house where the condition is not very good. They are not well off and actually living in a depressed area and even have troubles feeding their family on a daily basis. They are a big family of 11 living in a house than can only accomodate maybe 4-5 people. And even if they don't have enough my mother in law has vices like gambling and drinking and occasionally does this with their friends on their living room even if the kids are around. On several occasions that my son stayed there, when i take him back he almost always gets sick and on his last visit got he got afflicted with scabies. I told her of what happened and asked her that I 'd like to treat my son's affliction first as it is contagious and to prevent it from spreading to their household. (Even though I believed that my son got it from my wife's brother as i saw him undressing in their living room to take a bath and he already have a bad case of scabies on his buttocks and legs ). I have never blamed anything on them but she keeps insisting that I indirectly blame it on them because i refused to take my son to their home when he just got better from a fever or this time that he contracted scabies. As of this writing my son is getting better as here in my household we are treating ourselves with scabies medication even if we dont have it yet and trying to get rid of the source of the infection as well. She threatened me that she will take back my son from me because i refused to take my son to them even though i explained to her that our son is going through treatment and even told her she is welcome to visit my son at anytime. She keeps saying that i am keeping my son from her even though i have explained to her what is happening. We are not rich, but i can say that have raised my son well with my parents as he is in a much better health compare to before as he was so thin. I have a stable good paying job now and can well afford to support my child and parents. I want to keep my son on my custody as i know that ill be able to give my son a better future.

I would like to get your professional advice on how i can keep the custody of my son with me.

With my wife leaving our home, is that also cosidered as abandonment if we are separated by one year? i have on a couple of occasions tried to reconcile with her get our family back together?

Thank you,

Distresseddad

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2 Re: Child Custody on Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:01 pm

distresseddad


Arresto Menor
My son is only 3yo. Pala, forgot to indicate in the post.
Sana my magbigay agad ng legal advice.

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3 Re: Child Custody on Fri Aug 02, 2013 9:58 am

distresseddad


Arresto Menor
Up ko lang.. need help badly..

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4 Re: Child Custody on Fri Aug 02, 2013 11:26 am

watusi


Arresto Menor
sir, di po ako lawyer, but it so happens na i am at almost the same predicament as yours about 10 years ago. I was advised by my lawyer then than it will be very difficult for me to have custody as our family code leans heavily on the mothers taking care of the children below 7 years .
I even submitted affidavits from my ex's mother citing reasons for my behalf.
An even if i managed to wrest custody , my ex only needs to change her habits/mistakes , somehow prove it , and custody will get back to her.

Alam ko na masakit sa ating mga tatay ang makitang parang ang mga ina pa ng ating mga anak ang di makapagbigay ng tamang pagaaruga.

saludo po ako sa inyo, at hangat kaya po natin ay pwede namang kahit araw araw nating silang puntahan at bigyan ng suporta.

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5 Re: Child Custody on Fri Aug 02, 2013 11:43 am

shad_marasigan


Reclusion Perpetua
Ask DSWD to intervene and provide the facts accurately, even if the law applies strictly to the mother, it does not necessarily mean the child is forever hers, the law speaks of custody, custody is a matter of fitness to ensure the betterment of the child. If the mother is careless, then let the facts speak for herself. The custody should not only mention the fitness but also the capacity to ensure that the child is not being deprived of proper custody.

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6 Re: Child Custody on Fri Aug 02, 2013 3:07 pm

distresseddad


Arresto Menor
Thank you guys for your advice. That really means a lot. Today my son and I went to a dermatologist, on his last check up it was just with his pedia. I invited my wife to come as well as she lives just a tricycle away from the derma clinic that we went to. She did not reply and didnt come even though she keeps on saying that she misses our son. She's never been there when my son and I visit our pedia as well ever since we seperated. This last time that my son is with me for 3 weeks now, and she's never visited even once. All she does is text me and ask how my son is doing. She goes berserk when i dont reply to her. My son is my world now and my life just revolves around him, ill be devastated if she forces to get my son from me. I really dont want to go through a child custody battle as this would have a traumatic effect on my son but if she forces it then ill have no other choice.

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7 Re: Child Custody on Sat Aug 03, 2013 2:15 pm

attyLLL


moderator
it's an uphill battle, but i've seen compromises leading to shared custody


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8 Re: Child Custody on Sat Aug 03, 2013 2:33 pm

distresseddad


Arresto Menor
Is it going to be tough if I want sole custody if I pursue this in court? And regarding my 2nd question, can abandonment and neglect of parental duties be used for grounds for annulment?

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9 Re: Child Custody on Sat Aug 03, 2013 2:46 pm

attyLLL


moderator
that will be even tougher. but again, it has no chance if you don't pursue a case


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[i] Visit our FB Page: BPO Employee Legal Advice
Warning and Disclaimer: I am not your lawyer; and you are not my client. With the limitations of an  Internet forum, a thorough review of your concern is not possible. View my comments at YOUR OWN RISK. It is best to actually retain a lawyer for your individual concerns.
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10 Re: Child Custody on Sat Aug 03, 2013 2:51 pm

distresseddad


Arresto Menor
Thanks attyLLL. If push comes to shove then ill pursue it.

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11 Re: Child Custody Today at 8:14 am

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