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Visitation Rights/viewing Rights over illegitimate child

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Arresto Menor
Hello po,

Please advise me, at the moment im having some disputes about the father of my 3 old son. Im a single mother and my son is using his fathers last name and have the paternity acknowledgement. Im now in a relationship, which I beleived triggers the father of my son to fought verbally a 50/50 custody for my son fearing he will lose his son forever.

The father of my son(whose also single) is financially capable of sending the support for our child, before, he used to support for the 2 of us way back when im still in Phils. and then, we come to a point na were no longer together as I learned he was having an illicit affair especially when im still in the Phils . My son is now under the care of my parents as im also working on abroad now and since then, we have made a verbal agreement to send 50/50 financial support for my son since Sept. 2012.

I have never forbidden the father of my son to see our child, via skype or ym, or even in personal. until this month as we had some arguments regarding:

1. hes asking me to give him the internet bank access where we used to send the support for my son (Personal Savings Bank under my name), As I refuse coz I believed he doenst have the right to access any of my personal bank account regardless if hes sending the money or not.

2. Savings Account for my son(under my sons name and I open it for him)- The money collected from the fathers family during baptism and ninongs were saved on this account.-I have used the money on my sons saving from time to time when I am having some financial problems but replenishing it also as I have received my salaries and so on and would really love to start saving for my sons future on his account. .. On this regard, the father is contesting about my rights to used my sons savings. Resulting to give him back all the money and he will save it all for our sons future.

3. Requesting for all the cost of living bills for my son's expenses as he is living in Makati, with my family. ( with no objection i can give this.)

Ok to cut it short, we have monetary issues and conflicts on what I believed he doesnt have the right and insisting he has the right to know about my bank account where we send the money and forcing me to give him the bank statement and update him with the movement. Kindly advise if i should allow him as this for me is sounding to be controlling since we dont have any relationship and im not willing to comply on his demands, he didnt send his support this month because of this issues.

I know for a fact that Financial Support doesnt have to do with the Visitation Rights of the father. If I will not allow the father of my son to see him via skye/ym since were both working abroad, am i depriving his rights being the father? Does visitation rights only pertains to personal appearance?

Im very fair po, I know my son has the right to know his biological Dad, only in some aspects di na lang din kami magkasundo ng tatay ng anak ko. I have tried to talk with him and sat down with him to clarify the issues we had, for my sons best interest but hes keeping on asking about my bank statements and looks its just a waste of time to discuss this things. Hes thinking that I am not sending the 50 % agreed support for my son. Do I really need to show him how much I am sending on that particular account cause a matter of fact I am sending more because I am the breadwinner in the family and supporting my parents and 2 siblings in Makati. Unless i have to give on his demands, he will not send the suppport for my son.

What is the best advice that you can give in my situation? I want to fight for my sons financial support over his dad.. and I dont have the problem for his Visitation Rights either as this is seperate entities, but then, hes just reiterating that I should give him updated bank statements. Prior to our personal meeting, I have given him the statement of Accounts from May to Aug 2013 just to finished the issue and he is again asking me to send the Jan to March 2013.

Best interests of my son will always be my primary concern, I will not give him up to anyone.His father before suggested that its better if I will give my son to him and he will take care of everything and I can be at more help to my family. He was thinking because he is the father, he has the 50% rights over the custody of my son saying 6 months to him and 6 months to me. Such thinking sounds selfish. I will not allow that my son will be treated like a ball and just passing whoever is available. We both loved our son, only in different ways. Its very hard and difficult to be away from him, but this is for his future too, if I will really be given the good chance to have him everyday and night,I would love to have him always next to me.

I will be awaiting for your advise.

Thank you so much po.

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good to see you did your research.

only your son is entitled to support, any benefit to anyone else should be only incidental. and you should be giving him an accounting of how the money is spent. as long as the expenses are for your son, you can spend it as you see fit.

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Arresto Menor
Thanks Atty. but am i depriving his rights if i wont allow him to see my son over ym or skype? Were both working abroad po kasi. paki clarify naman po...

Also, Atty. he is claiming that the account where we used to send the money is a "common account" that makes him feel entitled to have an access/informed on the said account. What is common account means in our law?

Thanks in advance.

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Reclusion Perpetua
precy1686 wrote: am i depriving his rights if i wont allow him to see my son over ym or skype?
IMO, yes. Visitation right is the right of access of a noncustodial parent to his or her child or children. hindi kinakailangan na personal niyang puntahan ang bata para masabi na yun ang "visitation right" nya.

About the account, insist to him that is it your personal account. now para maiwasan ang pagdududa, ilahad mo sa kanya ang computation ng lahat ng gastos ng bata para malamang niya kung mag-kano talaga ang monthly expense ng anak nyo. may i suggest also to open a seperate account para sa child support. sa ganong paraan maiwasan ang pagdududa.

Good luck!

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Arresto Menor
oh, thank you po sa opinion. Sabi kasi sakin, technically wala kasi visitation means to visit/see personally. But sa case namin since he is abroad, i dont know what applies.

I keep on telling him na personal account yun, but seems like he is insisting he has the right kasi hes sending money there too.

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