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how will i start a complain from my husband with no support and mentally incapacitated

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shara


Arresto Menor
A pleasant day to you!
I am Shara 30 yrs of age and still married from my husband but not anymore living together for almost 8 years from now, i would like to ask help from you how will i start a complain against him, hes been addicted to drugs since he was my boyfriend till he said he decided to go rehabilitation and get healed, but instead when we tried to live together he started the agony of my life. Until i decided to go back to my parents and start to live my life alone with my daughter,please tell me how and what to do to start complain with him so he'll stop demanding to borrow my daughter n spend short period of time with her,it was really not a good attempt at all since shes little, it affects her emotionally, physically and mentally, after all she had grown up only with my parents, cousins, and my brothers before, coz i was working abroad before just to give support to her. but now im not anymore employed yet because due to my bad experience with my husband, ive been involved to another guy which is moroccan and we had a baby unfortunately,
when i get to manila with my 2nd daughter, i decided to confess everything to my husband and unexpectedly, he wasnt get mad to me at all,instead he commit his mistake coz he knew he was lacking of something in return, generally speaking i mean, and wat he said is he is willing to accept my 2nd daughter and start a new life, but i doubt that he can fulfill wat he said before, and now that our daughter has to be said that can have the right state of mind to understand things, i believe that everytime i tried to expalin to her regarding his father situation, im sure she understand and just keep waiting for them (fathers side) to start their move to show how they really love my daughter..but as time passed..same situation and not supporting my daughter and just want to visit her when he wants too..what more of being back to him without anything with my 2 kids, i dont think he will give us the right future not only with me but especially with my kids. please help me. I would be more eager to know what would be the next step for me to do legally. Looking forward for your response.

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attyLLL


moderator
start with a letter demanding provision of support from him for your daughter. if he does not provide, you can file a case of economic violence against him. whether it will prosper depends on the circumstances of his ability to provide support and the needs of the child.

a father has a right to visit his child. to deprive him of this right, you will have to file a petition in court to remove his right by proving that the father is causing harm to the child.


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shara


Arresto Menor
thank you for that immediate reply, but im sure he wont be able to support his child coz he never did ever since the beginning, and speaking of filing petition in d court, i was planning to have an anullment in due time, but right now i didnt have the right amount and evidence for him, especially in my situation coz i bare a child and still im married.
And when making a letter for child support, does it need a deadline in case he failed to do so..

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4 help me get a detail on Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:03 pm

shara


Arresto Menor
please help me get a detail how to make a letter demanding provision of support, since my husband wasnt able to support from the beginning, the most difficult situation as well is when he keeps asking to borrow my daughter for a day, unfair i think, coz im the one who took care of everything, un nga lang po kahit di sya nagfafile ng complain against me dahil i confessed na nagkaanak nko sa iba dahil mentally incapacitated talaga sya, minsan nga po i tried to confront his family i started to approach his parents to deal about whats better para sa situation nung bata since hindi po tlga nila inalagaan at sinuportahan ang anak ko,but still they didnt show up (we conversate only through txt msgng) and my husband keeps telling ng mga emotional words lng, and instead of make himself understand na para sa ikabubuti ng anak namin ang aming paguusapan he see things as making him stupid and started to be so mad, until he would say "mahirap makipausap sa taong mahirap pakiusapan" "salamat nalang", can anyone imagine that if u wer really optimist, and u always say na u loved and care for ur daughter, why would this things come up to ur mind and started to be so negative,. please help me , i wanted him to stop borrowing my child kasi di nmn nagiging maganda effect wid my daughter pinaaasa nia lang lagi, and for my side unfair tlga dahil ako lahat ang umako ng responsibility, emotionally physically, n financially. And from his side its just easy for them to borrow and enjoi presence of my daughter without anything in return.(generally) i want to ask for some grounds for nullity of marriage since we are separated for almost 8 years narin po. I know kahit aware sya na nagkaanak nako sa iba , i believe it will be granted dahil never naman sya gumawa ng move with our daughter and balak niya akuin ang 2nd baby ko, but the hard thing im unemployed parin po, i hope u can help me find effective way to help me out of my things, Ill be willing to do whatever it takes just for my daughter. Thank you!

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attyLLL


moderator
filing a case for economic violence will not remove his parental right to visitation.

you may opt to refuse to allow him to visit his child, but if he files a complaint, you will have to have good grounds to deny his right. this is a drastic step and you should be prepared for possible consequences.

for annulment, you will have to prove that there is a valid ground to consider your marriage void.

where is your second child? note that if you cannot prove that he forgave you for your infidelity, you can be made liable for adultery.


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shara


Arresto Menor
my 2nd child is here in phils for almost 2 yrs now, i believe so he forgives, not unless he can such unreasonable defense against me. Speaking about grounds, please help me give an idea regarding this especially on my case eventhough he is aware of my status now, i have a strong feeling that my grounds can be granted..
And im confident enough that even he can sue me from committing adultery, theres no way of him bcoz he is all responsible from what had happen to me, if hes been responsible enough since the beginning I dont think this myt happen in my family. Thank you atty for your answer. I keep in touch for any progress i will turn to. More power and Godbless!

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attyLLL


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i would not be so confident about your defense against adultery, which is the act of a woman of having sexual relations with another man. he can point out your second child as evidence. it is not a defense that you felt aggrieved.


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shara


Arresto Menor
In that case, would u consider that by the time we wer living together(like 2-3 months), is it reasonable if i use as a defense when he started to steal money from me before, what will i do then? Should i hide my second child, please give me idea what will be my strong evidence so that i can be declared aggrieved.

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attyLLL


moderator
if he stole money from you, that is not a defense against adultery either. the best defense is if you are able to show that you reconciled after he found out about your infidelity. you don't need to confirm this, but having sex with your husband is considered reconciliation. if you did, then it's a valid defense.

but after the reconciliation, there have to be no other acts of adultery. if you are living in with someone else, i recommend you stop this now.

again, you cannot deprive him of his visitation right without a valid court order, or if you attempt to do so, he can file a case for custody. good luck.


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shara


Arresto Menor
we never had physical contact since we wer separated, it happened when we still living together wid my first kid then after i came back home with my parents and live my life alone wid my kids along wid my parents. by the time i came to philippines from abroad that was the opportunity to speak to him about that matter,it was one on one,then after we never lived together coz ever since things didnt worked out.
wat if hes having an affair wid a woman already would that be defense too?the problem is we never talked about things,but im sure that he never had a permanent job.

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attyLLL


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reconciliation, consent, these are valid defenses in adultery. if he's being unfaithful also, that is not a defense.


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shara


Arresto Menor
regarding wid my case between my daughter and her father, is it right if we both decided to make a consent regarding both of our rights with our child since long time he failed to support his child, and what if still he fails to do what is written from the consent, like visitation and support, what am i suppose to do after... especially he keeps texting and demanding from my daughter to come there(on their place) and visit them..which is not good on my side.we always initiate for them especially asking when he really wants to fix things regarding his rights for his daughter...
what can be the first good step..we should make a consent both of us and/or i go alone to the barangay and tell about my case regarding this matter.
coz i dont give him idea that i wanted to go barangay and make a complain regarding his rights. I dont intend to trigger his rights from his daughter but i really want it legal esp hes been to drugs before and we separated long time(almost 8 yrs)i really cant trust him easily. After all his irresponsible things.

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shara


Arresto Menor
another question atty, how will i show consent or proof with disregard of physical contacts with my husband, that we really had reconciliation after,, does it involves a written statement?

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attyLLL


moderator
you can validly tell him that he can visit his daughter at your home but refuse to send her to him for fear regarding his background. you can also demand that he provide support.

is he living in with another woman?


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shara


Arresto Menor
thats i think a NO, but not so sure coz what i know he is living with his parents. But the problem he made a demand letter with a lawyer signed against my brother last 2007, but still he failed to do some actions, and we always initiate for them (my husbands family) to do something for his daughter. We never closed door for them.

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shara


Arresto Menor
hi atty... been reading from wat i have posted and sadly sayin.. nothing seems happening about wat i have asked from you.. my husband and i never worked out things yet especially the consent regarding our childs custody.. wud u consider txt msgs saying that he agreed to spare time (us..together)but not in my parents house wer im stayin, and set both rights that seems fair for both sides, but inspite all this.. he never showed up, and regarding about reconciliation, thru txt as well that he is sorry of everything.. and he will fix things and wat is suppose to be done.. wud u consider that a valid defense for me? please give me a strong advice atty.. let me hear you once again..

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attyLLL


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how long has it been since he found out about your second child?

what are your objectives now?


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shara


Arresto Menor
2 yrs atty.. i still wanna continue my annullment but that i think will be the last option bcoz of money issue.. im not working since i came here in phils. i have lots of txt msgs from him whose saying that he will come see me n deal with our fair rights legally.. but he never showed. till now he never give suppport either.. how can i even ask him regarding that if he doesnt thought about it (working) i really want to deprive his rights so i can live alone with my kids.. sometimes he tend to drop by without even my consent.. he is really incapacitated in things like this long time.. he always say he will giv the best only for his daughter but he has done nothing our child is turning 9yrs and shes used without seeing his father. can u give me better objectives rather than mine.. thank you for your reply atty.. looking forward to hear you again

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attyLLL


moderator
the problem here is that if you initiate a case for economic abuse, he will surely file adultery charges against you. what is declared in the birth certificate of your second child? who is listed as the father?

what about the grandparents? your daughter has the right to ask for support from them if the father does not provide.


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shara


Arresto Menor
it was declared that the other guy was the father and it is written but we r not married,

nobody wants to support even the grandparents.. my daughter never thought of asking anything from them coz she is used long time..

can my daughter make a written consent? i was instead planning of living far from him coz he will never knew of finding solutions from his problem... he we never be fine i think... (mentally)...

if his parents have seen changes on him they will show up even the last time my mother called his parents to settle about our fair rights between our daughter they never showed up.. all of them .. it is really difficult atty especially i know him and his parents r not financially stable..

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