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Do I have ANY rights ?

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1 Do I have ANY rights ? on Tue Feb 18, 2014 7:16 pm

Caring Father

Arresto Menor
I was in a relationship until recently with my now ex girlfriend and we both lived in Cavite area as family. We have a son together aged 17 months. He carries my surname as we both agreed he should.

She decided to leave and return to her family home in Mindanao suddenly and without explanation 1 month before his 1st birthday.

It took her 3 months to contact me (I was chasing myself around as none of her family would help) and she agreed I could see my son in Cagayan de Oro city whenever I wanted IF I supported him.

This was no problem to me at all and as agreed I sent (and still send) funds every month for his needs (and it seems her social networking habits)

I have now visited him (and her) 4 times and plan again a visit for my bithday next month for 1 week.

However, she thinks she can "blackmail" me by telling me I cannot see my son for different reasons :

1. She wakes up in bad mood

2. She doesn't agree with something I say in text

3. If she feels like it

4. Because her mother tells her I am not allowed to see him as I brought shame on the family by getting her pregnant ... I know, it takes 2 (And she admitted to me her plan was to get pregnant by me)

I know the law states a child under 7 years old must stay with the mother ...

I have a couple of questions

1. Can her Mother actually dictate the access I have ?

2. Can my ex gf actually stop me seeing my son ?

3. Without my support she would not be able to look after and care for our son, she has openly admitted that "money is tight" and sometimes her Mother asks for some of my sons support money to buy "daily needs" .. Thank God my ex says no but the Mother is a dictator and will end up fighting/arguing with my ex gf about this. The Mother even asked 2 weeks ago that my ex send some of the money to her other daughter to pay for a "field trip" from Uni. Again my ex refused and the mother and my ex had a stand up shouting match .. Can I do something to protect this money ?

4. As I stated earlier, my ex has an "addiction" to social networking sites/internet. As soon as she gets his support money I see her logging in to various sites to play games/chat. Can I do anything against this ?

5. My ex told me 3 weeks ago that the Lola has actually smacked my son for being "naughty". I now do not have the text (and i know it is not admissable as evidence). Can I have an order placed against her ?

I apologise for the length of this post but am getting stressed to the point of a nervous breakdown as she says to me "I can do as I wish, I am the mother"

Please give any advice that might help

Thank you

A Very Caring Father

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2 Re: Do I have ANY rights ? on Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:43 am


Reclusion Perpetua
Yes! You have every right if your child is carrying your surname. Refer to Child services, your child's risk to get abuse is their concern. Also if you supply your child enough groceries and other needs for a month and ensure to have a receipt and have it received, might be the solution for the mother not to use the money your are sending for your child.

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3 Re: Do I have ANY rights ? on Wed Feb 19, 2014 11:34 am

Caring Father

Arresto Menor

I appreciate your reply and welcome your advice

The small problem of sending groceries etc might be a sticking point. I have told her I would rather send a package monthly to the amount of support I give to ensure my son receives what he needs (milk/diapers and other essentials), however yet again she has said if I do not send the money I do not see my son

My other problem is when we lived together we gave our son Bonakid then Bonamilk. Now she gives him Alaska ( around 300 pesos cheaper). Her mother has stated it is better for him

Should I approach DSWD with this concern ?

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4 Re: Do I have ANY rights ? on Thu Feb 20, 2014 7:19 pm


Arresto Menor
Hi Atty,

I have a similar case. I have been sending support and the mother of my kids is inconsistent with giving me my time with the kids. My kids are age 8, 4 and one below 1 yrs old. Before she lets me call the kids at a agreed day and time. But now due to wrong info feed to her from my sister(who I removed from my business due to mismanagement), she does not allow me anymore to talk to my kids but insist that I still send support. She has also source of income from which she boast that she earns and spends money more that I provide. In 2012, she has even signed an agreement giving me custody of the children duly notarized by a lawyer in Calamba. I would like to use that agreement to take back my kids or simply just have the fair share with my kids. My kids are illigitimate by the way if that makes any differences.

looking forward to your legal advice...

from another caring father

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5 Re: Do I have ANY rights ? on Fri Feb 21, 2014 2:22 am

Caring Father

Arresto Menor
hi centurion,

My case started with my ex going to the Womans Desk of the local Police station to ask them to tell me she was demanding to leave (later found out the Mother was involved, if you see my original post you will understand why)

After consultation, she wanted to sign a blotter entry in the Womens Desk blotter agreeing to let me have total custody of our son. I disagreed due to a child does need mothers love and she was being "hot headed" and very arrogant about it all.

We finally (4 hours later) agreed dates/times for me to see him within the Womens Desk of the Police station. On the first date of meeting, she arrived 4 hours late, blamed traffic, then went away with him at the agreed time 30 minutes later.

The second visit, she arrived on time, but I needed to return to my home to get something for our son. When I returned, she had gone, no one inside the Police station saw or heard anything (apparently) including the Womens Desk Officer in Charge who was supposed to be monitoring the visit.

I later found out that the blotter entry was not even legally binding as it was not signed by a notary (something the Supervisor "forgot" to tell me but had informed my ex "Don't worry, he can't do anything, it isn't even legal" and also that the Supervisor had helped her leave by getting a Police car to take her for a bus !!! It was actually my ex who told me this ...

I queried it with the Supervisor who denied it and said my ex was as usual lying, however after I threatened an attorney and demanding to see the Chief of Police, suddenly the supervisor was "detached" to another station.

The point I am making is, ensure the contract/letter/ agreement you signed is legally binding because as illegitimate children, we do have Fathers rights but it appears only when it suits the "Powers that Be" .. ""We pay, they play""

Good luck with your case, I sincerely hope you get sorted

*Afternote to my original post*

She has agreed to allow me my birthday visit of 6 days but yet again the Mother caused an argument and fight and actually smacked my ex across the face for "answering back" because ex told her Mother "He is the Father, he has rights" to which the mother replied "He has no rights, it is our child, not his" ... OMG !!

.. This is why I worry as she has smacked my son 1 time, my next step is DSWD reference abuse

God Bless and More Power to "Daddys" who love their children enough to actually do something about it !!

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6 Re: Do I have ANY rights ? on Tue Feb 25, 2014 6:25 pm


when it comes to illegitimate children, the mother is given sole parental authority and custody.

the father is entitled to visitation, and if the mother refuses, he has to go to court to enforce his right.

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7 Re: Do I have ANY rights ? on Tue Feb 25, 2014 7:15 pm

Caring Father

Arresto Menor
attyLLL wrote:when it comes to illegitimate children, the mother is given sole parental authority and custody.

thanks atty but if there is a matter of "smacking" an 18 month old by the Grandmother that does not fall under "parental authority" ?

Surely that is Child Abuse as stated under law ?

As my son is illegitimate and the Mother has sole parental authority does that mean I can do nothing about her smacking my son ?

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8 Re: Do I have ANY rights ? on Tue Feb 25, 2014 7:51 pm


Arresto Menor
Hello atty! Magtatanong lang po para sa isang kaibigan. Kinasuhan daw po sya ng mrs nya ng r.a 9262. Bale naka 3 hearings na daw po ang nagyari na wala sya kaalam alam. Mangyari daw po wh di sya nakatanggap ng summon galing sa korte. Yung sinasabing pagpapadala sa kanya ng sulat eh tlgang di po nya natanggap at nasa ibang bansa po sya dahil sya at isang ofw. Ngayon na lang nya nalaman na pag umuwi sya ay bigla na lng sya dadamputin dahil daw tapos na ang kaso? Pwedw po ba yun? Wala po sya natanggap na summon kasi kung meron daw po sana eh gagawa sya paraan kukuha sya ng representative or private lawyer na haharap sa hearing. Sana po mabigyan nyo ako ng kasagutan ukol dito. Maraming salamat po.

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