I am married to a British national, who is an expat in the Philippines and had stayed here for 2 decades or more when i met him a decade ago. He has a child to a Filipina and who was turning 7years old when i first met her. I also met the spoke briefly with the mother, and had the assumption that everything is alright as me and the British national is out in the open with our relationship and marriage to the mother of my "husbands"child. I am trying to carefully thread my queries and avoid defending my self first. to take each query one at a time.
I had opened this up to my "husband" months before our marriage and had questioned him over and over as, i was still left with doubts at that time. He said to me in so many ways and so many times that he is not married to the mother of his child. His stories changes or have new information added each time i asked which raise my doubts and confusions. He is my first love and my first relationship. so i was basically naive, inexperience, and STUPID. He assured me in so many ways and so many times that he is not married. After 8 years , i was presented anonymously of a 2 page paper of what appears to be 2 of the many pages from an application of nullity of marriage and child custody filed by the Mother of his Child. And, as i have understood was granted and finalized. ( Please take note after 8 years of being married to him on the beach in a little sanctuary island in the Philippines. On that same month i had a confession from him ( my Husband) that he is in love with another woman. So, i took it as him wanting to get rid of me and went off to a separate place with our son who was turning 7 years old at that time. I love my "husband" and have always love him. I accepted my failures and mistakes and took it with me as we separate ways. After almost 2 years of his confession to me, i decided to have a boyfriend even without the love for him, as i wanted to my husband to ask me back again or stop me , which dint happen. The Boyfriend is not with me at all times and comes to visit whenever possible. I had the courage to ask my "husband" "permission" of having this "relationship" because of 2 things... i assumed that the marriage is considered fake or null/void/invalid anyway in the first place , and this i believe was done on purpose by my "husband" . after almost 3 years of being separated, Husband introduce a young lady with almost the same age as his first child, i acted on it with grace and great disappointment inside and ask his permission to have a child from the " boyfriend" thought this would change his mind and will ask me back, and yet it never happened. Unexpectedly, i got pregnant sooner, after a 2 months after i asked my "husband".
My question is:
1. was it right for me to assume and act up that the marriage with him is considered invalid/ null/void/ or does not exist, in the law?
2. Can he take it against me and take legal actions?
3. i wasted a decade of being depress, confuse, self destructive , lost, and felt no self worth and not as productive as i could have been, and turned down opportunities because i was thought if had to give in all of me then truth will come out and i can free him from it as my act of love. but since that didnt happen, i chose to blame myself for feeling doubts and questioning his intentions.
Looking back, cleaned, and trying to learn how to live life i consider myself being emotionally abuse by him. Should he give me support as well as to compensate for those years i have wasted. Dont get me wrong even when i was with him i try in my own little ways to earn on my own... giving private music lessons to neighbors kids, or supplying fresh vegestables. What i have realize is now that im working on my own with little less earning, and is not used to this kind of life. I recently knew that he is taking his young Girlfriend to vacation grandes in and outside the country, and had sent her Girlfriend to an expensive vocational study, and now is trying to set up an invest in his Girlfriends new found hobby of designing and selling his local made products . yet telling me that he does not have any money at all times. With the salary i got i take my eldest son and my baby out as this has been the life that my eldest is use to. CAN I TURN AROUND AND DEMAND MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME TO SAVE FOR MY SON AND BE ABLE TO LIVE THE LIFE MY SON AND I WAS USED TO RATHER THAN HAVING another person his young girlfriend and his family benefit from it?
>>>> thank you for your reply<<<<
From a single mother.