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Im Foreigner have Filipino partner & 2 kids..Please advice me on my query...

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sfmyworld


Arresto Menor
Hi,
Please help me on my issue. First I apologize about my long story..
Im a foreigner have a Filipino partner. I have been married before and separated. I need your esteem advice to my below query.
Me and my Filipino partner never married and have 2 kids. When she was pregnant with first child she lived in Manila and I got to know guys in her office touching her tummy. When I asked about her then first she declined and later accepted it is true. What I heard from her that these 2 guys her friends and they touch her tummy even she opposed for doing that and she claimed that Filipino guys like to touch pregnant woman tummy as it give luck to them. Also told me they are either comfortable to do it with her or they feel I am not around there. Both guys married and have kids.So I asked if they did with your opposed means they harass and abuse you and why you don’t complain them. She declined to complain. So I complained to her work place HR and they informed the result “As her fully aware with the incident case was closed”. Later I got to know she told inquiry panel it is not a big deal for her.
She was lived Manila with the child and I heard many things about her from her office mates. I had her office mates as friends thru Facebook and she didn’t like I communicate with them. But I decided once I see in my eyes and knew I believe those I heard. I financially helped her but didn’t visit since I got to know above incident.
I went manila seven months after she gave birth to child. She was stunned about my visit. While I stay there she went to work and I stayed home with the child. I see her behave so suspicious. One day I show her 2 pictures that she with 2 guys (one guy is involved touch her tummy as I mentioned above) and asked who are they. She replied both just her friends. I told her that now is the time to tell me if she have anything to tell me that happened here before I asked the things. She told me nothing happened. But after few attempts she started to tell a story with one of above mentioned guy>This guy openly ask to be with her and he is the Dad of the child when she was pregnant and after delivery he claimed can be child dad and invite her to do casual sex anytime if she open or if she upset with me. Then she told me if she not with me may be she with him. I asked her to send in writing about the said story and I have it now with me. So we had fought about this and finally I decided to complain to her work place. First she agreed with me and later she told me she will complain and prove her purity. So I gave her to do. First she wrote to guy asking about his feedback but I don’t what they exchange later. Finally she complained to him with my request. Company asked her reply for some of question (I have the email) but she hadn’t reply. Two month after I asked about the result of the complained then she told that she doesn’t know about that. Then I wrote to her work place HR about the result of the complained. They replied me that complain threw out and her included in all communication and she aware of the result. I realize she got to chance to complain from me to avoid truth coming out.

She thought I will leave her after this incident and asked another child she want from me. She got pregnant and we have another child. She started to live with me here country Im working and few months after I found some pics inside her external hard with guys that include above mentioned guy too and also sex videos using sex toys seems made same day she took picture with guys ( As she wear same cloths and same makeups)Above mentioned guy also holding her in that pics).Once she realized I got the things she tried to go back Manila taking all the things including all my disk drives, all documents I had about children including affidavits , All birth certificates and my personal documents. But I caught those before she leave and I took back to me.
Also I found she had lesbian relationship about 4 years just before me. Her lesbian partner suddenly started to publish pictures that got with her in her facebook.I got those pictures too.
When I got to know her hidden things I got affidavits for 2 kids that she agreed and no objection I bring children anytime out of Philippines and children can stay with me anytime too.She accepted the affidavit as a Legal document and affirmed not to breach this agreement. Eldest child stayed with me 2 months in my country without her. Now she is telling me she don’t want to share kids with me and kids live with her but asking my help. Also she has one of her Aunt living in another country and no kids involve with her so deeply about these children and advise her not to bring the kids to me or give to me.. One time I argued with her that telling her no business with my kids and she replied me she will take my children away from me definitely.
Still she lives with children in a rented house that I pay rent & other expenses. I have all proof that my financial & other help to her & children.
Also

NOTE : I have all the evidence & proof with me what I mentioned above. Those are signed affidavits,pictures,videos, documents,messages,SMS,emails etc etc..
1. I accepted both child mine and I allow to use my surname. But I signed all the affidavit out of Philippines and didn’t notarized about my signature but she notarized our signed in Manila as we signed before lawyer. Is this legally valid?
2. As I have affidavits for both children that her agreed anytime I can bring children out of Philippine and children can stay with me and affirmed as a legal document and not to breach the agreement, do I have authority to bring kids and keep with me anytime? OR does she can refuse me do that AND what I can do with these affidavits?
3. Do I able to file a case against her in Philippine courts or anywhere that she cheated me, did adultery and prove her immorality to keep kids with her as I have proof that she did bad things while she pregnant and after given birth (Picture with the guy involve sexual communication and story that she wrote me, complain and reply emails about those incidents, Sex video even pregnant and related pictures?

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AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
You were never married to her but you acknowlegde her children therefore you have no right to sue her for adultery but since your acknowledge the children you have full responsibility to give maintenance to your children! Even they are just adopted you still have full responsibility!



Last edited by AWV on Wed Sep 24, 2014 4:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

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3 Dear AWV... on Wed Sep 24, 2014 3:55 pm

sfmyworld


Arresto Menor
Dear AWV,

Thanks for the answer.But you are just saying I can't sue her coz I'm not married to her and just I have to support her as I accepted as a father of the children even she does bad things.

Does it mean legally woman can do whatever but man must support to children and nothing have rights?

And if no married then the affidavits woman made as legal documents no valid about how children father can share the children? So what made affidavits if there are no legal impact?

So you didn't answer about sign on the children's birth certificates whether valid or not if not done before a lawyer?

Hope you will answer me to my points and be neutral.

Thanks

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AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
You are a foreigner afterall! If you wish to ignore her demands for the children at no costs, all you have to do is never go back to the Philippines ever again because her documents only applied under Philippines jurisdictions. If you wish to go back to the Philippines again you have to petition not to allow her children to use your name. Ask for a DNA test to both children and use it as one of your evidence to your petition. You have every right to refuse to use your name and disowned her children if they are not really yours!

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AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
She is just securing her children's financial status, that's the only reason of all her documents to obligue you to give maintenance, which is a smart move! I would say she is cunning in this sense!

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6 Dear on Wed Sep 24, 2014 4:43 pm

sfmyworld


Arresto Menor
Thanks much your replies.

May be you didnt get my question clearly.

1. Im pretty sure 2nd child mine coz i stay with her when she got pregnant.No matter I still believe 1st child too mine and even I wanted to do DNA test I didnt yet.I love kids thats why I am still giving financial support and they lived with me until this June time to time.But since I found her bad connections, videos and pictures , she stays in Manila and she wont share kids with me and one of her aunt who doesnt have kids supporting her with this move.I feel that her aunt may have plan to take one child after making us distance and stop me supporting.

I wanted to know that how I can get children share with me like before that 1st child stayed with me in my country for more than 2 months before.

The affidavit that she gave me that she agreed and no objecting me to bring the children anytime and children stay with me.Also she accepted it is a legal document and affirmed not to breach it.So Can  I have right to use this affidavit for legally that asking share  the children as she stated in the affidavit if she refused to share children as she agreed?

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7 Pls answer on Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:46 pm

sfmyworld


Arresto Menor
Someone from Philippines can answer to my queries please.Highly appreciated.Thanks.

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8 Pls answer on Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:48 pm

sfmyworld


Arresto Menor
Someone from Philippines can answer to my queries please.Highly appreciated.Thanks.

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AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
I went manila seven months after she gave birth to child. She was stunned about my visit. While I stay there she went to work and I stayed home with the child. I see her behave so suspicious. One day I show her 2 pictures that she with 2 guys (one guy is involved touch her tummy as I mentioned above) and asked who are they. She replied both just her friends. I told her that now is the time to tell me if she have anything to tell me that happened here before I asked the things. She told me nothing happened. But after few attempts she started to tell a story with one of above mentioned guy>
This guy openly ask to be with her and he is the Dad of the child when she was pregnant and after delivery he claimed can be child dad and invite her to do casual sex anytime if she open or if she upset with me. Then she told me if she not with me may be she with him. I asked her to send in writing about the said story and I have it now with me. So we had fought about this and finally I decided to complain to her work place. First she agreed with me and later she told me she will complain and prove her purity. So I gave her to do. First she wrote to guy asking about his feedback but I don’t what they exchange later. Finally she complained to him with my request. Company asked her reply for some of question (I have the email) but she hadn’t reply. Two month after I asked about the result of the complained then she told that she doesn’t know about that. Then I wrote to her work place HR about the result of the complained. They replied me that complain threw out and her included in all communication and she aware of the result. I realize she got to chance to complain from me to avoid truth coming out.

Your story was not clear! Read the red font you stated!

Also, as you said, you were never married to her even if you have something in writing, if this is not authenticated and did not go through court process you have no rights with her children particularly if the children are below 7 years old only! The best way to find out about your rights is with DSWD they can clarify to you if you have rights with your children if you are not married to their mother.

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concepab


Reclusion Perpetua
sfmyworld wrote:Dear AWV,

Thanks for the answer.But you are just saying I can't sue her coz I'm not married to her and just I have to support her as I accepted as a father of the children even she does bad things.

Does it mean legally woman can do whatever but man must support to children and nothing have rights?

And if no married then the affidavits woman made as legal documents no valid about how children father can share the children? So what made affidavits if there are no legal impact?

So you didn't answer about sign on the children's birth certificates whether valid or not if not done before a lawyer?

Hope you will answer me to my points and be neutral.

Thanks


Under Philippines law, an illegitimate child shall be under the sole parental authority of the mother. Article 176 of the Family Code of the Philippines provides:

“Article 176. Illegitimate children shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this Code.” (this clause was revised in 2004 – RA9255)

Only the most compelling of reasons shall justify the court’s awarding the custody of such a child to someone other than his mother, such as her unfitness to exercise sole parental authority. In the past, the following grounds have been considered ample justification to deprive a mother of custody and parental authority: neglect, abandonment, unemployment and immorality, habitual drunkenness, drug addiction, maltreatment of the child, insanity and being sick with a communicable disease. “ (Source: PAO)

Being the father, and you acknowledged the children, you have legal obligation to provide support for the kids. However, you may insist your visitation right, if the mother refused, file a petition and the court will decide.

Now regarding on what she “confessed”, first let us see what is adultery as per Philippines Law.

“Adultery means the carnal relation between a married woman and a man who is not her husband, the latter knowing her to be married, even if the marriage be subsequently declared void (RPC, Article 333). Each sexual intercourse constitutes a crime of adultery.”

Based on the information you provided, we cannot considered that as adultery. Because as mentioned by AWV and according to Philippine law, you are not married.

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AWV


Reclusion Perpetua
EXACTLY! in other words! You have no rights and you cannot sue her for anything at all!
Also signing those documents voluntarily cannot be used against her! You fell into her trap so you have to deal with the consequences.

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12 To AWV.... on Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:52 am

sfmyworld


Arresto Menor
To AWV....

you said.....

"This guy openly ask to be with her and he is the Dad of the child when she was pregnant and after delivery he claimed can be child dad "

Your story was not clear! Read the red font you stated!

This is I just wanted to say....

I saw a picture in one of her friend facebook page that she with this  man which name is XXX in below story. They acted like a couple In the picture.I showed the picture to her and ask about that.First she said he is her friend and she doesn't care much him and when I keep on asking she started to tell me below story about her and XXX.The first child was about 7 month when I heard this story.According to below story this drama was happening since before we met.I asked her to write me the things happened instead of telling me verbally. Below is the story that she wrote to me.....

======================================
I have known XXX about October 2010 and we became close friends maybe about February 2011. I have been fond of him as he helps me with work and I consider him a good friend. I know for a fact that XXX is very fond and close to a lot of other girls as well. Since we became friends I have spoken with XXX alot. He has become a sounding board for some of the things that I go through in life when I need a friend to talk to. Though there are times I feel like he is beginning to like me more than a friend but I did not openly discuss with him about that feeling of mine as I am in a relationship with my current partner that time. I can only assume he likes me as he takes pictures of the two of us and would drop "hints" that make me feel he likes me.
There was a time last early April 2011, that I figured XXX liked me a lot as he took my hands and said he is serious that I can try being with him for 2 weeks even without sex just to try and prove we are a match together. That time I can not believe he asked me, that I had to ask and clear over and over what he said. He claims to be serious and I really did not respond to his proposal.
I got pregnant about late April 2011 to my current partner and that time when my tummy was beginning to show I had been open and alert that I do not like my tummy to be touched. XXX would sometimes attempt to touch my tummy but would stop when I tell him I not to do so. Though what bothers me is when he told about how he could have been the father of my baby and perhaps if the baby comes out dark and hairy that my baby is his. And that he openly asked me at times in meetings where other people hear it. I have asked XXX to please do not say those and stop since inside me I feel uncomfortable when that kind of incidents happen.
After giving birth I came back March 2012 and that time I was directly working with XXX as my @@@@ Manager. I do not have problems working with XXX as he has good working ethics but what bothers me is that he still continually asked me in public in a way like we could have been together or that he could have been the father of my baby. The worse is when he would actually say like we could have "casual sex" if ever I am open to it or when I feel bad about my partner to a point that one day I told him to talk to me seriously and that I want him to stop saying those as my partner and I have talked about situations like this and that we both do not like either party to be teased or linked to another person since we are in a committed relationship. XXX says he understand what I have told him - that I want him to stop asking me to sleep with him and tease me - and I thought that would stop the teasing and the dropping of hints. Though after some time I have spoken to him about what bothers me, there would still be times he asked  about me being with him and my team would hear him. I had to explain to my team that it is not true because some may believe it to be true.

=========================================

I don't know my thought and feelings right with this..I want to know what you feel and realize with this story.Thanks

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