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Improved Custody of Father over Illegitimate Child due to Infidelilty of the Mother

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jm_dm


Arresto Menor
Improved Custody of Father with Illegitimate Child due to Infidelilty of the Mother

I have a 1 year old child (having my last name) with my girlfriend who I have been having a relationship with for several years now. She already has two other illegitimate children before I met her. We have a very difficult relationship full of arguments and conflicts (irreconcilable differences) and physical abuse from her to me. Recently, I found out that she has been cheating on me. Have I known earlier, I would have not stayed long in the relationship and perhaps we wouldn't have a child together. Now, I know that my relationship with her is just based on lies and deception. She is a fraud trying to take all the resources she can take from me for her and her children's benefit. It appears that she has no plans of stopping and opening up to me what her wrongdoings.

Question: Is there anything I can do to use what I know about her (unstable behavior, infidelity and lies) to my advantage in seeking custody of our child?

I know the mother has full responsibility and rights over our child, but can I use my evidences to make a threat to her that I will be disclosing them all to her whole family and friends if she doesn't agree to give me full custody of our child? or something like that? Even if the family code is biased to women in regard to custody, I'm sure there is something I can do to make things fairer.

I want to get even with her but I do not want our child to get affected and suffer at the same time.

Some information to consider:
-Mother is currently unemployed (and unemployed for the longest time)
-Her two other illegitimate children are under the care of her grandparents.
-Since she got pregnant, apart from her daily living expenses that I of course shoulder, I give her P11,000 monthly to provide for her two other illegitimate children. She asked me that we make it appear that she is working abroad just to hide her pregnancy. She said her grandparents will stop the support/allowance of her frist two children if they find out about her pregnancy.
-She and some of her friends and family knows the situation(infidelity) and yet did not do anything about it.
-With my financial help, she is now scheduled to work abroad soon for real.
-We have been living in together since she became pregnant
-We have verbal settlement that she will leave our child to me under my custody and guardianship for 3-4 years or until such time she becomes financially capable to support our child (and her two other children). This, we will put into writing soon.
-She doesn't know that I know her lies already.

Please help.



Last edited by jm_dm on Tue Dec 09, 2014 8:06 pm; edited 5 times in total

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karl rove


Reclusion Perpetua
jm_dm

Based on your narration, you can file a petition for custody.

if interested, kindly email me at adpr24242000@yahoo.com

atty K.R.

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jm_dm


Arresto Menor
Thank you for your response attorney.

I understand that in custody disputes, the paramount concern is the welfare and well-being of the child. But the bias of the law is in favor of the mother. Unless there are compelling reasons which are neglect, abandonment, unemployment and immorality, habitual drunkenness, drug addiction, maltreatment of the child, insanity, and affliction with a communicable illness, custody of our child will belong to the mother. None of this is true at the moment except for unemployment. So what would be my chances of winning custody?

With all the lies, deceptions and physical abuse I receive from my girlfriend, is there any criminal charge I can file against her to imprison her? And probably lead to her giving up custody of our child to me in the end?

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karl rove


Reclusion Perpetua
jm

you actually said the basis or the groundwork for custody...is it not enough to qualify for "compelling reasons"????

you said that she Maltreated your child...file a criminal case then for "child abuse" if evidence so warrants ...

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karl rove


Reclusion Perpetua
JM

how on earth can your girlfriend be "fit" to fulfill her obligations if she is unemployed with two illegitimate chldren to boot? Paramount concern ? well being of the child? if she can't take care of the well being of her two other illegitimate children how could you expect her to advance the well being of your child?

your chances of winning depends on the ability of your lawyer!

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jm_dm


Arresto Menor
Karl,

You have a valid point but it is not conclusive. I have that same thought initially and I hope it is that easy. However, I know now that financial capacity may be a joint capacity among her family and not only herself. Thus, by her grandparents being able to take care of her two other illegitimate children, doesn't make her an unfit mother to them and nor to our child.

Is there any other case I can file against her? Estafa , Fraud , Unjust Vexation, Domestic Violence? I'm thinking that If she gets imprisoned with another case, then she will give up custody of child to me.

If that is still implausible, I am thinking that while she is away working abroad and she will give me custody, I will take our child with somewhere and never return. But wouldn't that be kidnapping?

I am no longer into revenge because of her wrongdoings. All I want now is that my child grow up and reach his full potential. I am 100% that he will grow to be a better man with me than with her.



Last edited by jm_dm on Tue Dec 09, 2014 7:19 pm; edited 1 time in total

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jm_dm


Arresto Menor
Please. I still don't know what to do really. Any expert opinion will truly be appreciated.

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karl rove


Reclusion Perpetua
I have a 1 year old son (having my last name) with my girlfriend who I have been having a relationship with for 4 years now. She already has two other illegitimate children before I met her. We have a very difficult relationship full of arguments and conflicts (irreconcilable differences) and physical abuse from her to me. Recently, I found out that she has been cheating on me. Have I known earlier, I would have not stayed long in the relationship and perhaps we wouldn't have a son together. Now, I know that my relationship with her is just based on lies and deception. She is a fraud trying to take all the resources she can take from me for her and her children's benefit. It appears that she has no plans of stopping and opening up to me what her wrongdoings.

Question: Is there anything I can do to use what I know about her (unstable behavior, infidelity and lies) to my advantage in seeking custody of our child?

I know the mother has full responsibility and rights over our child, but can I use my evidences to make a threat to her that I will be disclosing them all to her whole family and friends if she doesn't agree to give me full custody of our child? or something like that? Even if the family code is biased to women in regard to custody, I'm sure there is something I can do to make things fairer.

I want to get even with her but I do not want our son to get affected and suffer at the same time.

Some information to consider:
-Mother is currently unemployed (and unemployed for the longest time)
-Her two other illegitimate children are under the care of her grandparents.
-Since she got pregnant, apart from her daily living expenses that I of course shoulder, I give her P11,000 monthly to provide for her two other illegitimate children. She asked me that we make it appear that she is working abroad just to hide her pregnancy. She said her grandparents will stop the support/allowance of her frist two children if they find out about her pregnancy.
-She and some of her friends and family knows the situation(infedlity) and yet did not do anything about it.
-With my financial help, she is now scheduled to work abroad in January for real.
-We have been living in since she became pregnant
-We have verbal settlement that she will leave our child to me under my custody and guardianship for 3-4 years or until such time she becomes financially capable to support our son(and her two other children). This, we will put into writing soon.
-She doesn't know that I know her lies already.

-----------------------------------------------

Considering that your not married, any action to severe marital relationship like annulment (if there are plausible grounds) is not warranted, nor legal sepration.

you said your GF committed fraud...well, depending on the circumstances of the fraud...estafa or other forms of swindling is possible.

Another is, violation against women and children (VAWC)

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concepab


Reclusion Perpetua
I'm just wondering, why you want to send her to jail? to get the custody of the child? Sending her to jail will not automatically grant you the custody of the child. That is for the court to decide. The court may grant it to you or to the grandparents or other relatives of the mother- that depends on many things.

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jm_dm


Arresto Menor
Hi concepab,

It is one of my options to put her in jail. Why? To have higher chance of getting custody of our child. Her family may not be able to support a third child. Also, the point that I didn't abandon the child since birth and we have been living in together since then until now may be a plus point of giving me custody.

Why do I really want to have custody of my child? Because I know that my environment is much healthier than hers for our child. I know that my child's potential will be maximized better with me than with her. Also, if it is any good to mention, we had another argument recently and because of that our child almost got hurt (twice our child got hurt real bad already - although unintentional still it was carelessness - imprudence). That argument caused bruises.. bruises on me... again. But this time, besides photos, I now have medico legal report and blotter to support it. She may have psychiatric imbalance of some sort. But again, that may be hard to prove in court. Well, the world could be very unfair at times!

Hi Karl,

Thanks. I don't think I can file violation against women and children (VAWC) against her. I'm a guy and she has not hurt our child - intentionally at the very least.

Maybe, I just really have to bear it all and pretend to be okay until she's able to work abroad where she agreed to give temporary child custody to me until she becomes financially capable. Maybe, I can just hope that after years of having temporary custody of my child, I may be able to gather compelling reasons on why our child should remain under my care/authority and the court will grant me majority of the custody if not full. But that is just one big wishful thinking.

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concepab


Reclusion Perpetua
I see. Well, in a situation similar to what you are facing, the children are the most affected. i just hope  you could resolve it as soon as possible.

Good luck

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