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Please help.. child support, VAWC, :(

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1 Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Thu Jul 16, 2015 12:58 pm

rda


Prision Mayor
Hi Attorneys, Friends, commentators and whatever we call ourselves in this forum.. Smile

It may take a lot of courage to say and to tell to other people what I've been through with my past relationships. It may not be as heavy as what other people had but for me, this is one of the biggest challenge. But yeah, I need to do this so I can get a better advice and idea on what to do, my previous post was just a summary of what happened recently but this time, I'll try to put it on detail.

I've had a boyfriend and and nagkaanak kmi which is a baby girl, naglive in kami for 3 years, 1st year is good, 2nd year is tagilid na, then 3rd year, I quit na. Kaya naghiwalay kami July 2013. Then I met this guy, actually kilala ko n xa nung may ka-live in pa ko. Mejo paramdam xa pero ndi ko nmn pinapansin (at ang haba ng hair ko dun) kasi ayoko nmn manloko ng tao since kalive in ko pa ung dad ng 1st bebe ko which is now 5 yrs old. Then I gave the 2nd guy a chance. Sincel more than a year n din nmn xa nagpaparamdam (un nga lng on and off) kaya nging kami. Sept 2013 napreggy ako. Nagplan kmi magpakasal ni 2nd guy, namanhikan na cla and we really planned for the wedding. Nagwedding seminar sa province nila pero 2 days after nun, nagbago lahat.

Ngkaron kmi ng away. I always wanted to have him beside me. We work in the same company pero magkaiba ng project so we dont see each other at work. Maselan ung pregnancy ko kaya for a month stuck ako sa bahay to have a bed rest. One time sbi nia ndi xa makakapunta gusto nia dw matulog dun sa Boarding hauz nia n lng muna, so sabi ko sa bhay nlng kasi pwede nmn xa makatulog. Then nag-away kmi dhil lng dun. Gang sa napunta sa hiwalayan. I tried to win him back, I planned for a surprise for him, I bought him things that could make him feel better like teddy bear, bouquet of flowers, 8 pcz of cake saying sorry and of course with my sincerety pero ayaw na nia.

I spoke with his cousins and relatives so we can talk, I went to his cousins house nang ndi nia alam kc gusto ko tlga makipag usap pro sabi nia sakin nung nag usap kmi, ndi nia n dw ako mahal. I was 3 months pregnant that time. But I made all the effort beyond my limits pero ayaw nia n tlg. Actually ndi nmn tlga ko ganun na selosa at demanding, ewan ko, cguro dala lng ng pregnancy ko.

Madami kami exchange of hurtful messages after that, through text and emails. Pero may oras nmn na napg-uusapan nmin ung bata,

Sabi nia gusto nia magsupport, sabi ko wag na.

Sbi ko inabandona nia n kmi, sabi nia nmn ako lng ang inabandona nia at ndi ung bata.

Sabi ko s knya Spermdonor lng xa dhil after nia ko mabuntis, iniwan nia lng ako, sbi nmn nia ang malas daw nia dhil sa dinami dmi ng babae bkit ako pa, at pinagsisishan nia un.

A month beofre ako manganak nagmessage xa, ok nmn n ko ng mga panahon na yun, kya sbi ko I'll let him sign the bcert but it will not be named after him, nalungkot xa kc kala nia i-aapleyido s knya, sbi ko wag na kasi ndi nmn kmi kasal. Pero sa buong pagbubuntis ko, wala xang naibigay sakin khit pambili ng vitamins. Actually xa pa nga ung may utang sakin n 4000.00.

Nung nanganak ako, tinext ko xa, dis oras ng gabi, pmunta xa ng hospital. Almost every night na andun ako sa ospital eh pumupunta xa, at natuwa nmn ako dun dhil khit papano mukang magiging responsable nmn xa bata.

1month ung baby nagbigya xa ng milk and clothes.

1 month and 3 days ung baby namin, nconfine coz of pneumonia, sa private ko na dinala since need namin ng immediate assistance. Nanghingi ako ng tulong s knya by calling him in his mobile pero ang sabi nia, wala xang pera. Hinhintay ko na sabihin nia n gagawa xa ng paraan but he nver did say that. After nun wla na ko narinig sa knya khit kumusta man lng. The bill went up to 35,000 pero I shouldered everything,

Nanghingi ako ng tulong pero ang sabi nia, susuportahan nia ung bata pero dapt IBIGAY ko s knya. pero as a mom, dni ako pumayag.

After 2 months naconfine ulit, luckily may healthcard n ko and maliit n halaga n lng hinihingi ko s knya pero wla pd in xa response.

Lumipas ulit ung months, nagbirthday xa and he want to see the kid, I let him see the kid considering that he is still the dad.

Christmas nagbigay xa ng gift but that's it.

I tried to message him pra supply pero wlaa xang response. Pero kpag may check up ung bata, I ini-inform ko xa pra at least makita nia.

Magfi-1st bday n ung baby namin, nag-usap kmi n magsshare sa expenses, kala ko OK na, kasi he agreed, As in prang ayos na tlga, hindi samin kundi sa knila ng bata.

Pero a month beofre the exact date, nagmessage ako s knya, but what I recd as a response from him is again masasakit na slita, Inungkat nia ulit ung past namin at mga cnabi ko s knya. But still tnry ko na kausapin xa, at sbihin skin kung anong problema but his response is.."Mahal ko ung bata at gusto ko xang alagaan pero sa praang hindi kita nakikita".. Masakit sakin un so I decided not to force him na mag-ambag s bday ng anak nmin. Again I shouldered it all.

Then xempre dhil sa gastos s bday, naubusan n din ako ng budget, so I messaged him na khit sana gatas ng bata, magbigay xa pero ganun p din, msakit n slaita p din natanggap ko. like this:

"""Uu nga nakapirma nga pala ako sa BC…kaya pala pinapunta nyo ako sa Hospital..para asikasuhin ung BCng bata nan di ko nman apelyido at papirmahin ako sa BC at para may habol ka..naisahan mo ako dun ah..:X …..ahahhahahah…..teka same ba kami ng experience ng Ex mo?....unfair naman ata un sakin ka naghahabol eh may is aka pang anak….. anyways nand2 lang nman ako…..documented nman lahat eh…ndi na nman ako nagulat….kasi wag magsasalita ng tapos kung hindi pala kaya…ngayon naghahabol ka……Kala ko wala akong karapatan at Sperm Donor lang ako? Anyare? Hinahabol ako ngayon…. Naisahan ako dun ah…haist"""


I tried to talk to him in a nice way but what I recd is this.

Now, my questions are:

1. ANo bang pinakamagandang gawin pra maturuan ko ng leksyon ang pinakamamahal kong ex?

2. Anong kaso ang dapt kong isampa to fight for my kids right?

3. May mali ako... alam na alam ko un, pero pwede bang mging ground un pra ma-void ung case na pwd ko i-file against him?


_Any comments, suggestion and opinions will be appreciated.

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2 Re: Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Thu Jul 16, 2015 4:02 pm

concepab


Reclusion Perpetua
rda wrote:Hi Attorneys, Friends, commentators and whatever we call ourselves in this forum.. Smile

It may take a lot of courage to say and to tell to other people what I've been through with my past relationships. It may not be as heavy as what other people had but for me, this is one of the biggest challenge. But yeah, I need to do this so I can get a better advice and idea on what to do, my previous post was just a summary of what happened recently but this time, I'll try to put it on detail.

I've had a boyfriend and and nagkaanak kmi which is a baby girl, naglive in kami for 3 years, 1st year is good, 2nd year is tagilid na, then 3rd year, I quit na. Kaya naghiwalay kami July 2013. Then I met this guy, actually kilala ko n xa nung may ka-live in pa ko. Mejo paramdam xa pero ndi ko nmn pinapansin (at ang haba ng hair ko dun) kasi ayoko nmn manloko ng tao since kalive in ko pa ung dad ng 1st bebe ko which is now 5 yrs old. Then I gave the 2nd guy a chance. Sincel more than a year n din nmn xa nagpaparamdam (un nga lng on and off) kaya nging kami. Sept 2013 napreggy ako. Nagplan kmi magpakasal ni 2nd guy, namanhikan na cla and we really planned for the wedding. Nagwedding seminar sa province nila pero 2 days after nun, nagbago lahat.

Ngkaron kmi ng away. I always wanted to have him beside me. We work in the same company pero magkaiba ng project so we dont see each other at work. Maselan ung pregnancy ko kaya for a month stuck ako sa bahay to have a bed rest. One time sbi nia ndi xa makakapunta gusto nia dw matulog dun sa Boarding hauz nia n lng muna, so sabi ko sa bhay nlng kasi pwede nmn xa makatulog. Then nag-away kmi dhil lng dun. Gang sa napunta sa hiwalayan. I tried to win him back, I planned for a surprise for him, I bought him things that could make him feel better like teddy bear, bouquet of flowers, 8 pcz of cake saying sorry and of course with my sincerety pero ayaw na nia.

I spoke with his cousins and relatives so we can talk, I went to his cousins house nang ndi nia alam kc gusto ko tlga makipag usap pro sabi nia sakin nung nag usap kmi, ndi nia n dw ako mahal. I was 3 months pregnant that time. But I made all the effort beyond my limits pero ayaw nia n tlg. Actually ndi nmn tlga ko ganun na selosa at demanding, ewan ko, cguro dala lng ng pregnancy ko.

Madami kami exchange of hurtful messages after that, through text and emails. Pero may oras nmn na napg-uusapan nmin ung bata,

Sabi nia gusto nia magsupport, sabi ko wag na.

Sbi ko inabandona nia n kmi, sabi nia nmn ako lng ang inabandona nia at ndi ung bata.

Sabi ko s knya Spermdonor lng xa dhil after nia ko mabuntis, iniwan nia lng ako, sbi nmn nia ang malas daw nia dhil sa dinami dmi ng babae bkit ako pa, at pinagsisishan nia un.

A month beofre ako manganak nagmessage xa, ok nmn n ko ng mga panahon na yun, kya sbi ko I'll let him sign the bcert but it will not be named after him, nalungkot xa kc kala nia i-aapleyido s knya, sbi ko wag na kasi ndi nmn kmi kasal. Pero sa buong pagbubuntis ko, wala xang naibigay sakin khit pambili ng vitamins. Actually xa pa nga ung may utang sakin n 4000.00.

Nung nanganak ako, tinext ko xa, dis oras ng gabi, pmunta xa ng hospital. Almost every night na andun ako sa ospital eh pumupunta xa, at natuwa nmn ako dun dhil khit papano mukang magiging responsable nmn xa bata.

1month ung baby nagbigya xa ng milk and clothes.

1 month and 3 days ung baby namin, nconfine coz of pneumonia, sa private ko na dinala since need namin ng immediate assistance. Nanghingi ako ng tulong s knya by calling him in his mobile pero ang sabi nia, wala xang pera. Hinhintay ko na sabihin nia n gagawa xa ng paraan but he nver did say that. After nun wla na ko narinig sa knya khit kumusta man lng. The bill went up to 35,000 pero I shouldered everything,

Nanghingi ako ng tulong pero ang sabi nia, susuportahan nia ung bata pero dapt IBIGAY ko s knya. pero as a mom, dni ako pumayag.

After 2 months naconfine ulit, luckily may healthcard n ko and maliit n halaga n lng hinihingi ko s knya pero wla pd in xa response.

Lumipas ulit ung months, nagbirthday xa and he want to see the kid, I let him see the kid considering that he is still the dad.

Christmas nagbigay xa ng gift but that's it.

I tried to message him pra supply pero wlaa xang response. Pero kpag may check up ung bata, I ini-inform ko xa pra at least makita nia.

Magfi-1st bday n ung baby namin, nag-usap kmi n magsshare sa expenses, kala ko OK na, kasi he agreed, As in prang ayos na tlga, hindi samin kundi sa knila ng bata.

Pero a month beofre the exact date, nagmessage ako s knya, but what I recd as a response from him is again masasakit na slita, Inungkat nia ulit ung past namin at mga cnabi ko s knya. But still tnry ko na kausapin xa, at sbihin skin kung anong problema but his response is.."Mahal ko ung bata at gusto ko xang alagaan pero sa praang hindi kita nakikita".. Masakit sakin un so I decided not to force him na mag-ambag s bday ng anak nmin. Again I shouldered it all.

Then xempre dhil sa gastos s bday, naubusan n din ako ng budget, so I messaged him na khit sana gatas ng bata, magbigay xa pero ganun p din, msakit n slaita p din natanggap ko. like this:

"""Uu nga nakapirma nga pala ako sa BC…kaya pala pinapunta nyo ako sa Hospital..para asikasuhin ung BCng bata nan di ko nman apelyido at papirmahin ako sa BC at para may habol ka..naisahan mo ako dun ah..:X …..ahahhahahah…..teka same ba kami ng experience ng Ex mo?....unfair naman ata un sakin ka naghahabol eh may is aka pang anak….. anyways nand2 lang nman ako…..documented nman lahat eh…ndi na nman ako nagulat….kasi wag magsasalita ng tapos kung hindi pala kaya…ngayon naghahabol ka……Kala ko wala akong karapatan at Sperm Donor lang ako? Anyare? Hinahabol ako ngayon…. Naisahan ako dun ah…haist"""


I tried to talk to him in a nice way but what I recd is this.

Now, my questions are:

1. ANo bang pinakamagandang gawin pra maturuan ko ng leksyon ang pinakamamahal kong ex?

2. Anong kaso ang dapt kong isampa to fight for my kids right?

3. May mali ako... alam na alam ko un, pero pwede bang mging ground un pra ma-void ung case na pwd ko i-file against him?


_Any comments, suggestion and opinions will be appreciated.

BAgo tayo magpagod kaka-type, may isang tanong lang ako, desedido ka ba talagang magfile ng case or your just trying to find a way to bring him to the corner?

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3 Re: Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Fri Jul 17, 2015 6:53 am

rda


Prision Mayor
Hi concepab, Smile

Sa totoo lng ndi ko na din po alam ung gagawin ko.

Nung minsan nag-email ako sa knya n sabi ko kung hindi xa magsusupport eh pwede kong dalin sa court ung case, kaso mukang ndi pa din po xa natinag.

Sa totoo lang ayoko ng gulo, pareho kaming may trabaho at kung magffile ako ng case against him, pareho lng din po kaming maiistorbo sa knya knya naming buhay at ..trabaho nga. Ang gusto ko lng eh kahit papano gawin nia ung responsibilidad nia bilang ama ng anak namin.

So kung ndi ko po xa makukuha sa maayos na pakiusapan, cguro mas mgandang dalin ko n lng po ung case sa court pra at least ndi nia na din ako mababastos sa mga binibitiwan niang salita.

Maxado na din po kasing ntatapakan ung pagkatao ko, kumbaga ndi nia na nga ko ginalang eh binastos nia pa ko.

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4 Re: Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:48 am

lenzalai


Prision Correccional
rda wrote:Hi concepab, Smile

Sa totoo lng ndi ko na din po alam ung gagawin ko.

Nung minsan nag-email ako sa knya n sabi ko kung hindi xa magsusupport eh pwede kong dalin sa court ung case, kaso mukang ndi pa din po xa natinag.

Sa totoo lang ayoko ng gulo, pareho kaming may trabaho at kung magffile ako ng case against him, pareho lng din po kaming maiistorbo sa knya knya naming buhay at ..trabaho nga. Ang gusto ko lng eh kahit papano gawin nia ung responsibilidad nia bilang ama ng anak namin.

So kung ndi ko po xa makukuha sa maayos na pakiusapan, cguro mas mgandang dalin ko n lng po ung case sa court pra at least ndi nia na din ako mababastos sa mga binibitiwan niang salita.

Maxado na din po kasing ntatapakan ung pagkatao ko, kumbaga ndi nia na nga ko ginalang eh binastos nia pa ko.


i feel you girl... Crying or Very sad

just pray, keep the faith and take courage... Smile  your heart should be still and have determination so you will come up with a better decision. you will get through this Smile

check that link i sent to your pm it might help you in anyway Very Happy

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5 Re: Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:45 am

rda


Prision Mayor
@lenzalai, Thanks gilr. Smile

Yup you're right, kelangan desidido at determinado tau sa mga ganitong bagay.

Actually ndi nmn ako mapagtanim ng galit or what, kung magsosorry xa at aaminin ang pagkakamali nia, if he will just do his duties and responisibilities as a dad at the same time will learn to respect me, cguro ndi kami mapupunta kung san san.

Ma-pride kasi xang tao at khit kelan ndi nia un ibinaba.

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6 Re: Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:47 am

lenzalai


Prision Correccional
rda wrote:@lenzalai, Thanks gilr. Smile

Yup you're right, kelangan desidido at determinado tau sa mga ganitong bagay.

Actually ndi nmn ako mapagtanim ng galit or what, kung magsosorry xa at aaminin ang pagkakamali nia, if he will just do his duties and responisibilities as a dad at the same time will learn to respect me, cguro ndi kami mapupunta kung san san.

Ma-pride kasi xang tao at khit kelan ndi nia un ibinaba.

Np Very Happy

kung ang pride na yan e nakakain..malamang marami ng obess ngayon Laughing Laughing

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7 Re: Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Fri Jul 17, 2015 10:08 am

rda


Prision Mayor
Kung ang pride ay pera, cguro ung ex ko n ung pinakamayaman na tao sa buong mundo

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8 Re: Please help.. child support, VAWC, :( on Fri Jul 17, 2015 10:15 am

lenzalai


Prision Correccional
rda wrote:Kung ang pride ay pera, cguro ung ex ko n ung pinakamayaman na tao sa buong mundo

Laughing Laughing Laughing

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