I married back in 2003 when I was 23 years old because my girlfriend was already pregnant at that time. Just like any ordinary couple, we had our ups and downs in the relationship. However, I noticed that she was not comfortable in a married life. I never obliged her to work as I stated to her that I'll be in charge of paying everything (bills, food etc.) as long as she concentrates on being a good Mom and take care of our child. I had to double my efforts at work and was successful as I got promoted multiple times in a short amount of time. She often gets bored even if she has a daughter to take care of, so I agreed with her request to work. She worked in different locations within Metro Manila but she stayed long in Fairview QC, far from where we reside (Paranaque City). She spent most of her time outside rather than at home. On a weekly basis she comes home at midnight (4am, the village guard informs me, since I was often at work at night) because she enjoys night life and parties. This is also her reason for working in Fairview because her friends were also working there. She often prefers to be with peers rather than family, rather than our daughter.
I tried to reach out to her several times but she usually prefers to be open with her friends instead of me.
After a few years, she secretly took care of her papers and went abroad (US) to work there. I didn’t allow her, but she pushed through with her decision saying that it's going to be just a 7-month contract. She left without even assuring who is going to take care of our 4 year old daughter since I am also working. I hired maids and nannies but most of them are only temporary. Only my 76 year old Mom can be patient in handling my daughter.
I continued on with my life, acting as a single parent with the help of my own parents for several years (up to present). I am the sole breadwinner and responsible for every expense at home and my daughter’s school.
She calls to check her daughter (from once a week to once a month) and she sends toys. That's it. She promised to return soon but keeps breaking her promises, making our child frustrated too.
We rarely talk and then eventually we don’t communicate with each other anymore. I also learned that she is already in a relationship with someone else last year through browsing some networking sites like Facebook. (I also kept some evidences from my investigation)
I am seeking your legal advice on the steps that I should take and for the items I indicated below:
Currently in the US:
- We don't communicate with each other for so long. I also do not want to stay married with a person full of lies and selfishness.
- We have not been interested with each other since then. She doesn’t make an effort to rebuild the family
Before leaving Philippines:
- She prefers living a single life (party till morning with her friends)
- Prefers listening to peers and discuss marriage issues with them rather than fixing it with me.
- Makes decisions on her own without consulting me
2) Custody - I am aware that custody should be with me as long as her mom is in the US. However, giving the facts of the story where she left her child, would she still have a custody right if ever she returns in the Philippines?
3) Do we have an alternative to annulment? We haven’t talked to each other for a long time, she already has a BF and I have a GF now too. Is there anything that can automate separation?