My ex husband and I have been married for almost 7 years when it all happened. It started when I found out,thru text from the girl,that he was cheating. This was way back 2011..We tried to make it work again and I've done all I can to forgive him,for the sake of our daughter. As we took our time to re establish our relationship,there has been numerous fights and clarifications as I felt it was essential for me to know the full extent of the affair in order for me to forgive him. He always reassured me that he ended it and that he has no intentions of doing it again. However,during one of our fights (November 2013) he just abruptly said he wants to leave and take a break for awhile by himself as he is fed up with all the explaining he needs to do and our fights. In my defense it is because information about the said affair keeps on surfacing,things that he didn't own up to the moment I found out about it,things that he hid from me when we both agreed he will be transparent about everything.
From the moment he said he will leave,I tried so hard to persuade him to go into counselling with me and try to straighten things out,I also tried to get him to sign a form asking for child support for my daughter and the baby I had been carrying that time (I was one month pregnant with our second child) but as he was adamant not to sign it,nor provide me information as to where he is going,I was forced to seek an intervention thru the local barangay authorities. This happened December 4 2013,a day before he said he will leave. I gave him all the chance in the world to sign the papers but he didn't. I have the official brgy document that he signed after the intervention,stating that he will provide 8000 pesos monthly child support for my daughter and that once my baby is born,we are to re compute and adjust accordingly.
Little did I know that when he left,he went straight to his girlfriend (a new one) and lived with her in the girl's parents house. I did not know that he has a new girlfriend and they have been together for months even before he left.
He never told me anything about him and what he is doing,where he is staying etc. I was kept in the dark about his personal life.so I still kept trying to get him back.
I only found out about it during Christmas 2014.I began my research and spoke to an old office mate of his. She told me everything she knows and I have the chat logs saved just in case.
I confronted him about what I know but he never admitted to it until May2015.
All throughout that time,I keep asking him to increase the child support amount as I have 2 kids with me. For a year,the amount increased to 10000 a month and all was civil and ok. I am only after the comfort and security of my kids and had since moved on (I am now with a new partner since July 2015)when he finally admitted the truth about him.
December 2015,I found out thru Facebook photos that they have a kid (6months old) at that time. I told him to just make sure he will hold up his end of the agreement for child support and that we should get a legal document outlining the adjustments for it until my kids reach the age of 21. He continued to give 10000 a month until March 2016.
I left the Philippines March 2016 and since then he has been sending less. He is giving 8000a month for both the kids and it is not enough that I and my parents are forced to cover for it and borrow money from other people just to make ends meet.
My questions are:
1. How can I secure a document for him to sign which outlines the child support amount I am asking him to provide until the kids turn 21? What is the process and who do I speak to? How binding is this document in relation to his compliance?
2. Can I be referred to a lawyer to set this up as I am physically not there to do things myself?is there a public lawyer to assists us with the lowest cost possible or even one that can be given a fixed amount for his service?
3. As I have plans to bring my kids with me overseas for residency,I need to secure his consent and I plan to include it in the child support document so I can have just one process to go through. Is this possible?
4. If he refused,what are my best options to get what I need from him? Can I file ra9262 and concubinage case to make him agree on an out of court settlement? And does he have a chance of winning an adultery case against me should he decide to file a counter case?
I am after the security of my kids not just for the present,but until they turn 21. I will not stand here and do nothing when I have the fear that he will abandon his obligations. He is already showing signs of inconsistencies and I will feel better if I have a legal document protecting my kids rights.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I appreciate the help you are extending to those of us who feels lost and hopeless.
God bless and good day..