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HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage)

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1 HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:35 am

missymissy


Arresto Menor
Hi! This message is from my friend. I believe you can help her with her current situation. She and her ex-husband just want to be free and be truly happy.

"Mapagpalang araw po!

Hihingi lamang po ako ng payo na nawa'y ipagkaloob ninyo.

Napilitan po akong magpakasal sa dati kong nobyo sa kadahilanang nabuntis niya ako sa edad ko na disi-otso. Bata pa po ako noon kaya labag man po sa aking kalooban, itinuloy ko ang kasal upang hindi maapektuhan ang katungkulan ng aking mga magulang sa Iglesia at nang sa gayon ay hindi rin kami matiwalag pare-pareho.

Sinubukan po namin magsama nang normal at nabiyayaan naman po kami ng anak. Ngunit pagkalipas ng tatlong taon ay nagpasya rin kaming maghiwalay sa kadahilanang hindi na kami magkasundo pa sa lahat ng bagay ilang ulit man namin itong ayusin. Siya naman po ay natiwalag habang ako at aming anak ay nagpapatuloy pa rin ngayon sa Iglesia.

Pitong taon na po kaming hindi nagsasama ng dati kong asawa. Nais po namin na mapawalang-bisa ang aming kasal sa pamamagitan ng annulment. Batid ko po na hindi ito pinahihintulutan ng Iglesia. Ngunit paano naman po kami magsasama pa kung alam namin sa aming mga sarili na hindi kami tunay na masaya at lalo lamang kami magkakasala sa isa't isa kung magpapatuloy pa?

Sa kasalukuyan ay parehas na po kaming may bagong karelasyon at tunay na minamahal. Tanggap din po ng aming anak ang sitwasyon sapagkat nakikita niya na naging masaya at payapa ang dati naming magulong tahanan. Malaya rin po niyang nakakasama ang kanyang ama. Hindi na rin po nagbalik-loob sa Iglesia ang aking dating asawa sapagkat pinili na niya maging Born-again Christian. Nirerepesto ko naman po ang kanyang desisyon gaya ng pagrespeto niya sa pananatili ko at ng aming anak sa Iglesia.

Kung sakali man po na matuloy at maaprubahan ang aming annulment at maging dahilan ito upang ako rin ay matiwalag, maaari pa rin po ba ako magbalik-loob sa Iglesia at sumamba muli tulad ng aking nakasanayan?

Nais ko pa rin naman po maikasal muli kung sakali pero sa taong alam ko na mahal ko, mahal ako, at mahal ang Iglesia. At sa pagkakataong iyon, sisiguraduhin ko po na ikakasal ako hindi lamang dahil nabuntis ako o dahil pinilit ako ng magulang ko kundi dahil handa na ako at hindi na magbabago pa ang isip ko hindi gaya ng dati.

Kung sakali naman na hindi kami pahintulutan magpa-annul ng Iglesia dahil labag ito sa paniniwala ng simbahan, anong legal na aksyon po ang nararapat dito?

Sana po ay mabigyan ninyo ng oras na basahin ito upang matulungan at maliwanagan ako sa dapat kong gawin. Maraming salamat po."



Last edited by missymissy on Tue Jul 17, 2018 8:17 am; edited 3 times in total

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2 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:31 am

attyLLL


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this is more of a religious question rather than a legal one


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3 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 8:20 am

missymissy


Arresto Menor
Atty, yung legal action po yung concern niya if ever pagbawalan sila magpa-annul ng INC kasi nga raw po hindi yun allowed sa kanila.

About naman sa pagtitiwalag, kung may INC po dito na makakasagot, malaking tulong din po. Thank you.

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4 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 10:13 am

thepoetsedge

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Reclusion Perpetua
I am not a member of the INC religious organization, so I can't answer your questions based on experience.

As far as I know, you can still have your marriage annulled under our legal processes. Once granted, your marriage will be dissolved with your original spouse. However, the INC will not recognize that and will still consider you married under their religion. It means that you cannot remarry under INC rites anymore. Moreover, if your other family members are part of the INC faith, I have heard from my other friends who are part of the INC faith that they will also face excommunication, which is why it is so hard to have a marriage annulled when INC is the faith in question.

Nevertheless, you can still marry your current lover in civil rites, but not anymore in INC rites.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt, since I am still a law student and not a full-fledged lawyer yet. You should consult with a lawyer specializing in family law to have a more authoritative answer to your legal queries.

Good luck, and Godspeed.

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5 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:12 am

missymissy


Arresto Menor
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer my post, thepoetsedge. At least i got some idea from you which i can share to my friend who is in need of advice. She's really afraid to ask their INC officials regarding this matter because of that excommunication thingy. So, thanks again and God bless.

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6 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:15 am

thepoetsedge

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missymissy wrote:Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer my post, thepoetsedge. At least i got some idea from you which i can share to my friend who is in need of advice. She's really afraid to ask their INC officials regarding this matter because of that excommunication thingy. So, thanks again and God bless.

You're welcome. I wish your friend the best of luck and may she find the best possible way on solving her current predicament with her faith.

Godspeed.

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7 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:25 am

maxwell_24


Arresto Mayor
Ok sasagutin ko po, Aral po sa loob ng INC ang pagkakasal ay sagrado. dito masusubukan ang pananampalataya mo. may mga pagkakataon na di talagang nagkakasundo ang mag asawa at nauuwi sa hiwalay. Bawal po talaga sa INC and divorce. Kung may pagkakataon na di talaga magkasundo manatiling walang asawa ang bawat isa yun po ang nakasulat. Sa INC natatalian ng kautusan na nakasulat sa biblia pero dahil sa tawag ng laman nakakalimutan ang pananampalataya. kaya nga po ipinagbabawal ang relasyon sa hindi kapanampalataya or non INC member.

Sa huli ang desisyon po ng may katawan kung sila po ay ayaw patali sa kautusan at gusto nilang gawin ay ang kanilang kagustuhan. Tao pa rin tayo may sariling desisyon sa buhay. Lamang kailangan ng pagtitiwalag dahil sa paglabag. Pag natiwalag na sila maaari na nilang gawin ang nais nila. Pananampalataya ba o sariling kagustuhan?

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8 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:40 am

missymissy


Arresto Menor
maxwell_24 wrote:Ok sasagutin ko po, Aral po sa loob ng INC ang pagkakasal ay sagrado. dito masusubukan ang pananampalataya mo. may mga pagkakataon na di talagang nagkakasundo ang mag asawa at nauuwi sa hiwalay. Bawal po talaga sa INC and divorce. Kung may pagkakataon na di talaga magkasundo manatiling walang asawa ang bawat isa yun po ang nakasulat. Sa INC natatalian ng kautusan na nakasulat sa biblia pero dahil sa tawag ng laman nakakalimutan ang pananampalataya. kaya nga po ipinagbabawal ang relasyon sa hindi kapanampalataya or non INC member.

Sa huli ang desisyon po ng may katawan kung sila po ay ayaw patali sa kautusan at gusto nilang gawin ay ang kanilang kagustuhan. Tao pa rin tayo may sariling desisyon sa buhay. Lamang kailangan ng pagtitiwalag dahil sa paglabag. Pag natiwalag na sila maaari na nilang gawin ang nais nila. Pananampalataya ba o sariling kagustuhan?


Thank you, maxwell_24. Ang concern niya rin po is kung after niya ba matiwalag dahil sa annulment, maaari pa rin daw po ba siya magbalik-loob bilang single na? Yung ex-husband niya po kasi tiwalag na at born-again na kaya desidido rin sila na magpa-annul na lang talaga. Gusto po ng babae na manatiling Iglesia kahit ma-annul sila. Papayagan po kaya siya magbalik-loob?

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9 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:50 am

maxwell_24


Arresto Mayor
Pwede naman silang maghiwalay e yun nga lang manatiling walang asawa. Kung di sya papasakop dahil meron nga siyang karelasyon ngayon sya na magkusa iulat nya ang sarili nya at tanggapin ang pagtitiwalag sa kanya. Mananatili syang nakatali sa asawa nya hanggat ito ay nabubuhay pa.
Ang sabi nga " ang pinagsama ng diyos ay wag papaghiwalayin ng tao ".

pero gaya nga ng sabi ko may kalayaan sya mamili sa desisyon na gagawin nya.

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10 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:21 pm

missymissy


Arresto Menor
maxwell_24 wrote:Pwede naman silang maghiwalay e yun nga lang manatiling walang asawa. Kung di sya papasakop dahil meron nga siyang karelasyon ngayon sya na magkusa iulat nya ang sarili nya at tanggapin ang pagtitiwalag sa kanya. Mananatili syang nakatali sa asawa nya hanggat ito ay nabubuhay pa.
Ang sabi nga " ang pinagsama ng diyos ay wag papaghiwalayin ng tao ".

pero gaya nga ng sabi ko may kalayaan sya mamili sa desisyon na gagawin nya.

I see. Additional question, pwede rin po ba mag-ulat sa INC ang hindi miyembro ng Iglesia kapag alam mo na may miyembro sila na lumalabag mismo sa kautusan nila? Curious lang.

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11 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:25 pm

maxwell_24


Arresto Mayor
opo.. pwede naman. sulat na may nakalagda na malinaw ang pangalan ng naguulat

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12 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:30 pm

missymissy


Arresto Menor
Okay. Thanks again for your time and helpful info, maxwell_24. I'll surely share this to my friend as well. God bless and have a good day po.

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13 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 3:51 pm

AWV

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Reclusion Perpetua
Geez! This is tough! Although they knew its against their religions to have a divorce nor annulment. The fact that they no longer live with each other and has their own partners. This is already disobeying their religions so since they have decided to go against it in the first place, the answer already comes from them so why worry about your religions? Just go along with the legal process so you are not committing crime, if ever your marriage is registered with NSO.

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14 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Tue Jul 17, 2018 11:02 pm

thepoetsedge

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Reclusion Perpetua
AWV wrote:Geez! This is tough! Although they knew its against their religions to have a divorce nor annulment. The fact that they no longer live with each other and has their own partners. This is already disobeying their religions so since they have decided to go against it in the first place, the answer already comes from them so why worry about your religions? Just go along with the legal process so you are not committing crime, if ever your marriage is registered with NSO.

I concur. There was already a violation of their religious belief due to the legal action set forth by the husband, so the concern of the INC wife is already moot and academic. If the INC sanctions cannot anymore be avoided, then it is time to face the music and just go towards the civil processes of annulment.

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15 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:57 am

maxwell_24


Arresto Mayor
Lahat tayo may pagkakamali hindi perpekto pero nagbigay ang diyos ng guidelines yan yung bible may pagakkataon di natin nasusunod kaya humihingi tayo ng kapatawaran. meron pagkakasala na sinasadya at di sinasadya. sa ganitong kaso maari talagang matiwalag.

kaya mo bang itanggi ang sarili mong kagustuhan para sumunod sa kanya? kung hindi mo kaya itanggi ang sarili mo, hindi ka karapatdapat sa kaharian nya. mahirap diba? pero nagawa po ito ng panginoong jesus.

MAy kapangyarihan pa rin pumili ang tao sa kanyang desisyon.

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16 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:11 pm

missymissy


Arresto Menor
Devoted INC member po kasi yung babae kaya takot siya matiwalag. Yun nga lang kahit gaano ka ka-deboto sa relihiyon mo, tao ka pa rin talaga na nagkakasala minsan. Yes, they have already violated their religious belief pero hindi pa po kasi alam ng lokal na simbahan nila or ng officials (I don't know what they call it).

Yung guy, okay lang sa kanya na magpa-annul because he's no longer a member of the Iglesia, matagal na siyang tiwalag at wala na raw balak magbalik-loob. While yung girl naman gusto rin magpa-annul pero doubtful and afraid siya dahil nga Iglesia pa rin siya until now, kumbaga tinatago niya lang sa church nila na may bago na siyang karelasyon para hindi siya matiwalag.

I think nasagot naman na yung legal concern niya about annulment. Now, for her religious concern, gusto niya lang alamin if allowed pa ba magbalik-loob sa religion nila after niya matiwalag because of their annulment? Siguro ang makakasagot nga lang po nun ay INC members or officials na nandito rin tulad ni maxwell_24. But if no one here knows the answer, it's still okay guys dahil additional query/concern lang naman yun. At least her legal concern was already answered by some people here.  

And like what thepoetsedge said, if the INC sanctions cannot be avoided anymore, maybe it's time na kalimutan na lang din nung friend ko yung religion na sinuway nila and mag-focus na lang sa annulment para legally free na sila ng ex-husband niya. I actually told her this pero kasi Iglesia yun mula pagkabata kaya mahirap din para sa kanya. Sad

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17 Re: HELP! (Iglesia Ni Cristo marriage) on Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:35 pm

thepoetsedge

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missymissy wrote:Devoted INC member po kasi yung babae kaya takot siya matiwalag. Yun nga lang kahit gaano ka ka-deboto sa relihiyon mo, tao ka pa rin talaga na nagkakasala minsan. Yes, they have already violated their religious belief pero hindi pa po kasi alam ng lokal na simbahan nila or ng officials (I don't know what they call it).

Yung guy, okay lang sa kanya na magpa-annul because he's no longer a member of the Iglesia, matagal na siyang tiwalag at wala na raw balak magbalik-loob. While yung girl naman gusto rin magpa-annul pero doubtful and afraid siya dahil nga Iglesia pa rin siya until now, kumbaga tinatago niya lang sa church nila na may bago na siyang karelasyon para hindi siya matiwalag.

I think nasagot naman na yung legal concern niya about annulment. Now, for her religious concern, gusto niya lang alamin if allowed pa ba magbalik-loob sa religion nila after niya matiwalag because of their annulment? Siguro ang makakasagot nga lang po nun ay INC members or officials na nandito rin tulad ni maxwell_24. But if no one here knows the answer, it's still okay guys dahil additional query/concern lang naman yun. At least her legal concern was already answered by some people here.  

And like what thepoetsedge said, if the INC sanctions cannot be avoided anymore, maybe it's time na kalimutan na lang din nung friend ko yung religion na sinuway nila and mag-focus na lang sa annulment para legally free na sila ng ex-husband niya. I actually told her this pero kasi Iglesia yun mula pagkabata kaya mahirap din para sa kanya. Sad

You've done what you can. It is up to your friend now to decide on which path to take.

The most we can do now is to be supportive of her once she makes up her mind as to what action she will do.

At the end of the day, we are all human and we can only do so much in trying to do the right thing. The most we can do is learn from our mistakes and move forward with our lives.

Anyway, good luck and Godspeed. May your efforts yield favorable results!

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