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advice needed

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1 advice needed on Fri May 13, 2011 8:35 pm


Arresto Menor

I'm a woman. My dad passed away in 1999 while my mom passed away in 2000.

In 2004, I was 23 years old. I was in a 4 years-old relationship then. My partner was 6 years older than I was. He wanted to have a baby but I was adamant not to have 1 outside of wedlock.

At that time, the law was that a child outside of wedlock should have the last name of the mother. I pointed this out to my partner and his response was that I should not present myself as the mother so as to give the child his last name. It was something I did not like at all.

So I pushed for a marriage to make it all legal and binding and fair. He agreed. That was months before the actual marriage. He didn't like to go in the city hall to prepare beforehand so we only came into the Manila City Hall on the date of marriage.

There was no marriage counselling or whatsoever beforehand. All documents were only signed on the day of the marriage.

The administrator told us that since this is the case, they would just have to register the marriage in the city of San Juan instea of Manila since Manila is more strict about processes.

At that time, I also needed parental consent but as I told them that both of my parents already passed away, they just opted to put in the name of a guardian. I put in the name of a helper/guardian at the dormitory I lived in. She was not present at the marriage though. So if there was a signature, it was not hers.

So the marriage was pushed through despite all these. It is now recorded in NSO (that it happened in San Juan).

Afterwards, we lived together, trying to have a baby. I underwent several doctor's exam and was given medications as well. (since my grandmother had diabetes, I was given metformin which caused my stomach to have excessive acid levels). I was also given clomid, which made me hyper ovulate given that I had polycystic ovaries. A year went by and I did not get pregnant. Until finally after consulting with another different doctor, my partner was asked to undergo a sperm count. His sperm count was way below what could make us concieve a child.

He then decided to work again (abroad). So I was left here to continue my studies.

For the whole of our realtionship, even before the marriage, I felt psychologically battered (perhaps because I still grieved for my parents' deaths, was continuously going through the stress of familial issues regarding their properties, plus having to support myself in my studies) plus having my partner control my every move.

To add to that, while he was abroad, he still persisted in controlling me. Until in 1 phone call, he forced me to tell him a specific detail (where was his 10k from his bank account) that I didn't have a record of at that time (I was on duty being a nursing student and my records were at my dorm). He started cursing me and such. I finally realized that I can't live the rest of my life with him anymore. That what he was doing to me was not fair at all.

So I said goodbye and hung up the phone.

For months until he got back in the country. We kept only minimal communication like text messaging. For my side, it was only to advice him of changes in his bank account mostly.

When he got back in the country, I was so afraid to see him so I hid from him. My fear was not just a hallucination though. He went to both of my sisters' houses, even in the house of my aunt, as king for me, demanding to see me. He even threatened that if "hindi kami magkaayos, magkakagulo tayong lahat."

I let him see me once, in a public place. He inviting me to join him at home but I was really scared that I might just end up in the newspaper so I didn't consent.

After that, he found out my new mobile number through a professor of mine. So he began texting me even calling me at times. A short example of his texts would be:

day 1: he'll tell he's sorry and all and that's i should give us another chance and that he really loves me and such
day 2: he'll shout at me, call me names, mumurahin nya ko and he'll tell me im nothing without him
day 3: he'll say sorry again, talk about good times and such
day 4: he'll tell me i'd be sorry to let him go, he'll threaten me

So I hope that my fear was quite understandable.

I had bad dreams about him. Was afraid to go to public places and such. I even dropped out of my last year in Nursing school just to hide from him.

Now, approximately 5+ years after, I'm in a much better state and would like to move on with my life, though I still fear seeing him.

A common friend of ours told me that he now has a wife and child. But seeing as NSO still has a record of our marriage, I wonder how that was possible.

Anyway, the only thing that I want is for my marriage with him to not be counted anymore.

Can you please advice me about my options? As much as possible, I do not want to see him (as I still have my fears) but I really want this to end now.


(Sorry for the long story. I just wanted to give as much facts as I could)


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2 Re: advice needed on Sat May 14, 2011 10:21 am


here are the grounds for annulment of marriage:

was there a marriage license number indicated on your marriage certificate?

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3 Re: advice needed on Sat May 14, 2011 7:17 pm


Arresto Menor
Thanks attyLLL.

Honestly though, when I read the grounds, I still got confused as to where we fit in. I found some that might fit in annulment, some that might fit in nullity & some that might fit in legal separation.

Perhaps a recommendation of where I can get free legal advice face to face might be better? I value your opinion and such but I hope you understand that:
1 - I really don't know how to begin
2 - I need to be able to have some expert answer my questions.

(If you can give me free legal advice face to face, that would be great. Very Happy But I'm sure you're busy and all)

As for the marriage license number indicated in the certificate of marriage, there was one. (7 digits & all numbers)

Again, thanks so much!


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4 Re: advice needed on Sat May 14, 2011 9:00 pm


the best ground i see is that there was no ceremony at all presided by a an authorized solemnizing officer.

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5 Re: advice needed on Sat May 14, 2011 9:36 pm


Arresto Menor
really? that would be great! Very Happy

as for the consult, i don't have any idea where to go. are there public lawyers in city halls? where else?

thanks so much attyLLL! i hope the lawyer i get to consult with would also share your opinion. (so i can still have a future na parang walang nangyari except for my psychological state. baka kasi my psychological state might even get better faster if tama tlga kau!)

i hope i can proceed with this soon just so i can feel much better, safer...

again, thanks!

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