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Got separated

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1 Got separated on Sun May 15, 2011 3:39 pm

techsupport


Arresto Menor
I've been married for 5 years. At the start of this year i started having suspicions that my wife is doing something behind my back. I tried for many times to tell her to stop whatever it is she's doing before she ruins our family. Last april 2 we had a major argument. Binuhos ko lahat ng galit ko for more than 3 months sa upuan at ibinato sa dingding na tumalbog papunta sa kanya na nagkaroon sya ng sugat sa braso. Eventually she left me and our 3 minor children. I tried everything to make her comeback but it was really difficult because im only relying on text messages and emails. She's not even replying. I dont know where she's at. Sometimes her father will reply to my text messages for her telling me how stupid i am to even hope that she'll come back to me. Some of her friends tried to comfort me on what happened and at times when im sending my wife text messages out of desperation im sending the messages as well to her dad and some of his friends so they will know that im really doing my best just to save this relationship because of the kids. Once, I even texted that she got pregnant and she had it aborted because of the pregnancy test strip i just found. To be honest i dont have a clue if that strip was used on my youngest baby boy 3 yrs ago or just recently because the strip is still in very good condition. I did my best to hide my anger and frustrations knowing she cheated on me. I dont have proof yet but atleast im 100% sure na nagpaligaw/nagentertain sya ng lalake na may interest sa kanya. Hanggang dun lang ang sure ako. Anything beyond that wala na ako idea. Nagkaroon kasi ng trend na makikipaghiwalay sya sa gabi at magiging ok lang kami as long as d ko sya pakikiaalaman kung san sya pupunta kinabukasan na umuuwi sya ng 2am. She put all the blame sa accident na nasaktan sya at yung mga nagawa ko habang hinahabol ko sya. She didnt even try to communicate kahit sa mga anak namin. Now me and my kids are living in an almost empty house kasi pinahakot na nya halos lahat ng mga gamit namin and she texted me that she'll get our children no matter what happens.

Here's the things they said that they'll do:
1. They'll file a libel case against me - do they have a case?
2. File for child custody - unfair na batas to. Ikaw na ang nagingat sa family mo, iniwan kayo then nung nalungkot yung nanay sya na ang may karapatan sa lahat.
3. File for annulment which for me is good after all the things that i found out

Please help.

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2 Re: Got separated on Mon May 16, 2011 3:55 pm

attyLLL


moderator
1) libel is a written public defamation. what would be the basis of that? the texts?

2) argue that she abandoned the children.

what do you want to happen?


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3 Re: Got separated on Sun May 22, 2011 1:27 pm

techsupport


Arresto Menor
1) yes the texts messages i sent. Out of extreme anger yung natext ko kasi may nakita akong pregnancy test strip sa isang bagay na araw-araw nya ginagamit. i tried to control my anger because it was either used for my baby boy 3 years ago or nde. pero sobrang bagong bago ang itsura nung test strip. i sent a text message to her, to her mom and one of her friends saying na nabuntis ka pala at nagpalaglag ka dahil sa pregnancy test na yun. inamin ko naman afterwards na galit lang ako nun pero everything is thru texts lang. wla nmn kami communication at d nmn sya nagrereply.

2) although wala talaga communication from her, 2 months is enough for abandonment?

3) ngaun yung eldest ko na 6 years old nabubuhay sa takot. ayaw nyang malayo sa akin silang magkakapatid. pag tumunog ang gate namin, natataranta sya sa pagsigurado na nakalock na mga pinto. nakatira kami sa isang malaking bahay na halos walang gamit talaga. dining table namin sa sofa na sira-sira. nagiiiyak yung anak ko nung makita nyang sinakay sa truck mga gamit sa bahay. nung nagpunta inlaws ko nung wala ako nagtago sa likod ng upuan at nagiiiyak na sya dun at tinatawag ako. hanggang dumating ako umiiyak sya at nanginginig sa takot. nilagnat sya kinabukasan. yesterday na tumawag nmn sister inlaw ko at pinipilit ako na ibigay ko mga bata sa kanya para ibili daw nya sa mall. nagiiyak na anak ko kasi ayaw nya tlga. Never sila nakarinig sa akin na d ko ibibigay mga bata. Ang may ayaw yung anak ko and i know minor pa sya para magdecide d ko rin nmn sila ibibigay kung ayaw nila ibigay ko sila kahit sa nanay nila.

4) kung ang tatay ang gumawa nito ang daming pedeng ata ikaso like Psychological Violence, etc. kaso nanay ang gumagawa nito at nakakaharass na talaga sya. Wala naman ako makita na pede ikaso sa nanay dahil lahat ng batas para sa kanila nde sa tatay.

Here's the list na pinagdaanan namin ng mga anak ko:
*inabandona for 2 months na
*no communication na kahit ano
*pinagtabuyan nya kami sa bahay ng tita ng wife ko 7 days after nyang umalis
*7 hours kami naghintay sa mall para makausap sya para ayusin or tapusin na
*bigla syang magtetext na kukunin nya mga bata kahit anung mangyari na nakakacause ng stress sa buong bahay dahil d na kami makakilos or mabuhay ng normal
*magtetext mga inlaws ko magdemanda sila ng child custody at libel
*may anak kami na pagnagkasakit d namin pede kami ang magpapainom ng gamot kailangan doctor. twice nagkasakit ng tig 4 days at wala talaga syang pakialam
*pinahakot nya mga gamit namin sa ibang tao
*naiwan kami sa bahay na walang sofa, dining table, pinggan, baso, ref, etc.
*nagpunta inlaws ko habang wala ako para kunin mga bata para iuwi sa province - i never said no kasi alam na nila sagot ng anak ko
*tumawag sister inlaw ko pinahahatid mga anak ko hihiramin daw nya pero nadulas na dadalhin sa province para sa reunion

stressed na ako at mga anak ko. 1 week na ako gumagawa ng way para d na umabot pa na ipresent ko mga bata sa korte sa child custody kaso ayaw tlga nila gusto nila ipagyabang ang pera nila. tinadtad nila text mother ko na pupunta daw sila ngaun kasama ang baranggay at dswd. Hinayaan ko na lang at pumasok ako sa trabaho bahala na ang diyos. ngaun pinapanuod ko sa webcam ang loob ng bahay namin at nakikita kong d normal ang buhay nila dahil nakakulong sila sa bahay at andun yung takot na kukunin sila ng taong inabandona sila.

Anu po ba pede kong gawin? I know slim to none ang chance ko manalo pag lumaban ako sa child custody case pero panu mga anak ko na ayaw na sa kanya at halos gabi-gabi kami nagiiyakan na wag ko sila ibibigay. umuwi daw ang nanay nila wag silang kunin. Wala ba ako pede ifile na kaso para tumigil sa panghaharass sa mga bata. Naguutos sya ng ibang tao para kumuha sa mga bata kasi d nya kayang humarap sa amin kasi alam ko na nagloko sya. Pinalalabas lang nya na napuno na sya sa akin.

Please enlighten me para na rin sa mga anak ko. 2 months na akong single parent at double lahat ng efforts ko dahil tagasalo ako ng damage para d maapektuhan mga anak ko sa bawat ikilos ng family ng wife ko.

D na kami makapagmove on kung mabubuhay ba kaming magkakahiwalay or makakasama pa.

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4 Re: Got separated on Sun May 22, 2011 7:08 pm

attyLLL


moderator
those text messages really are libelous because you sent them to other persons. you don't have to admit that the number used is yours. besides, libel is not so serious anymore; the supreme court has ordered that if a fine will suffice, that should be the penalty.

when they ask for the children, just deny courteously.

it is the act of leaving the family home which constitutes abandonment.

if you don't want them contacting you, change your number.

you can either play defense or file a petition to declare you as custodian of the children to combat the possibility she files ra 9262 against you.


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5 Re: Got separated on Sun May 22, 2011 8:56 pm

techsupport


Arresto Menor
I dont know if i can easily deny the number because my wife knows that i had that number since June 1999.

How can i use the abandonment against her?

Based on the stated circumstances, what are my chances on moving on with my children?

Salamat po Attorney.

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6 Re: Got separated on Tue May 24, 2011 11:32 pm

attyLLL


moderator
i didn't say deny. i said don't admit.

to use the abandonment, there has to be a court declaration that she abandoned you and the family. you will have to file a petition in court.


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7 Re: Got separated on Sat May 28, 2011 10:33 am

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Arresto Menor
Atty, last tuesday, may 24, nagpunta ang barangay sa bahay kasama ang Vaw-C at pulis. Sabi ko d ko dadalhin mga bata sa barangay at kung gusto makasama ng asawa ko mga anak namin lalabas ako ng bahay at pumasok sya. She said no and magfile na lang ng daw sila ng kaso. Sumunod ako sa barangay kasi ayaw ko maranasan ng mga anak ko ang humarap sa korte. Nadatnan ko sila dun na ginagawan na ng certificate na magfile ng custody. Gusto ng wife ko ibigay ko mga anak ko right then and there. Sabi ko d ko naman dinideny mga bata ayaw ko lang dalhin sa province para lang sa reunion. Magfile na lang daw tlga sya. Nagcompromise na lang ako na pag may plane tickets na ang mga bata ibibigay ko sila the night before ng flight.

Last thrusday, may 26,may dumating na summon ang barangay para sa summon na d nawithdraw since nagkasundo na kami. ang allegation nya is Physical injury, verbal abuse at Child custody. At may nakaattach na petition from an attorney na inaddress sa barangay complete with prayers. Sobrang pinalabas ako na masama dun at nagimbento sila ng mga istorya. At nagsisimula yung petition na Eversince na kinasal kami lagi kami nagaaway dahil sa selos. In which hindi totoo dahil mga kaibigan nga nya at kaibigan ko laging sinasabi na natutuwa sila d kami nagaaway. sobrang ingat namin na d kami magaway.

Possible ba na nagreready sila for annulment dahil pinalalabas nila na masama ako dahil puro imbento? Gusto ko makaganti sa pagsira nya sa family namin at ng mga anak namin. Gusto ko magkamali sya at mafilan ko ng adultery. Anu po ba ang chances na manalo sila sa annulment?

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8 Re: Got separated on Sat May 28, 2011 7:00 pm

attyLLL


moderator
it will be easy to counter the annulment case. all you have to do is appear and keep appealing it to the supreme court. but i don't think an annulment is what they have in mind.

i think she may be applying for a bgy protection order. is this one of the prayers? be watchful that the dswd suddenly gets the children as a 'rescue'.

what she should be really filing is a temporary protection order with the family court. don't know why her lawyer is not doing this.

did she ever hurt the children? you can jump the gun and apply for the protection order for your children against her.


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9 Re: Got separated on Sun May 29, 2011 3:36 pm

techsupport


Arresto Menor
Attorney, Last may 27, friday, namasyal kami ng mga anak ko. Parang farewell namin sa isa't isa. 8pm binigay ko na mga anak ko at mga gamit. Karga ng asawa ko panganay ko at umiiyak na nagmamakaawa anak ko na wag ko sila ibigay. Ang sakit attorney. Naglaro na sa isip ko na d na ibigay sila nung time na yun kaso lalo lang sila masasaktan pag pinaharap sila sa judge. I made a sacrifice na lang. May 28 was my birthday. Fitting timing dba? Nagtry ako itext wife ko thrice yesterday para kausapin mga anak ko sa phone kaso d nya ako nireplyan. Pakiramdam ko itatago na nya mga anak ko dahil sabi ko sa barangay peke yung address na binigay nila sa barangay. Natatakot ako attorney kasi baka d ko na sila makita.

Anu ba mga moves na kailangan ko gawin or iprepare para makuha ko mga anak ko uli at the same time attorney balang araw makaganti sa pangloloko, pagsira sa pamilya ko at yung mga pinaranas nyang sakit sa mga anak namin? Gusto ko silang magdusa sa mga kaarogantehan nila na para lang sa isang family reunion ipaparanas nila ang mga bagay na d dapat maranasan ng mga anak ko.

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10 Re: Got separated on Sun May 29, 2011 3:36 pm

techsupport


Arresto Menor
Yes attorney pinipitpit nya bibig ng panganay ko at kinukurot na nagiging away namin.

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11 Re: Got separated on Sun May 29, 2011 8:06 pm

techsupport


Arresto Menor
Thrice yesterday ako nagtry na makausap mga anak ko pero d nila sinasagot texts at tawag ko. Today 4x ako nagtext at maraming attempt tumawag d nila sinasagot talaga. Feeling ko mali ginawa kong sacrifice na d maranasan ng mga anak ko humarap sa korte.

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12 Re: Got separated on Wed Jun 01, 2011 10:12 pm

attyLLL


moderator
sorry, but i feel you gave up too easily. you didn't even draw up an agreement at the bgy to have visitation rights. now, you put yourself in an very poor bargaining position.

go find where they live. no action will prosper if you don't even know where they are.


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13 Re: Got separated on Wed Jun 01, 2011 10:22 pm

attyLLL


moderator
sorry, but i feel you gave up too easily. you didn't even draw up an agreement at the bgy to have visitation rights. now, you put yourself in an very poor bargaining position.

go find where they live. no action will prosper if you don't even know where they are.


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Warning and Disclaimer: I am not your lawyer; and you are not my client. With the limitations of an  Internet forum, a thorough review of your concern is not possible. View my comments at YOUR OWN RISK. It is best to actually retain a lawyer for your individual concerns.
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14 Re: Got separated Today at 11:07 am

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