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Requiring advice about my son

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1 Requiring advice about my son on Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:50 pm

Dave S


Arresto Menor
I am currently married since 2009 and we have a 2 yr old son. In April of this year my wife decided to run and hide with our son after an argument. Eventually in May after no contact and her family hiding her whereabouts, I issued a writ of Habeus Corpus to the Court of Appeals against her and her parents so I could see my son. When it was over, I was allowed to have access to my son for 2 days a week (Saturday until Sunday)and pay 5000 pesos per month as upkeep to my son. All went well, and eventually my wife allowed me to keep my son until Monday afternoons at 3pm and we swapped text about the welfare of our son and it seemed we were on the cards for reconcilliation as she stated she wanted a "new start" in UK with me and our son. Also said she wanted to spend Xmas with me and my son in my new home ... We went on "dates", called each other, and looked like a family once again, even holding hands and good morning and goodbye kiss when we met (sounds silly but it was nice to be like this) ... She told me her father stated he wanted our son but not me at their "home" for New Year, I said no as I will not have him again for 3 years birthdays, Xmas or New Year and she must continue to "play fair". Now suddenly this week as she has realised Xmas and New Year approach and I will not "give in" to he father's demands on me she has now said to me I must revert back to the Court Order. Given me back the cellphone I loaned her, refuses to answer my text about our son and basically told me she hoped I die to give our son peace !!

I believe I am the best parent, I do not own my own property but can give my son a better life than living in 1 room with 11 other people with no running water, deep well showers, and a mother who "forgets" to dress him when on the beach except for briefs as she was "busy swimming and forgot him" (leaving him alone sleeping in the sun). He is light skinned as I am. He came to me burned bright red, and 1 week later skin was falling off him in lumps !

She openly threatens him with her slipper in public and I have often told her not to do it (she also stated in Court I was abusing our son and keeps threatening me with deportation for abuse if I don't "keep my mouth shut"

I know she does not spend the 5000 on him, since I have been paying, she has only bought him 1 pair of plastic slippers and always tells me when he needs new clothes as she knows I will pay. She is now running an Avon business and had gone into debt to buy him new clothes to show off she can afford him clothes. But she always has new manicure/pedicure, new hair cut and fashion accessories. I feel she is using the money for herself and her family.

I feel she is now causing myself and my son phycological abuse by keep changing the routine and her attitude .. What is good one week is no good the next ... I feel depressed because now from today I hear nothing about the welfare of my son until I see him next Saturday morning. She snatched him so roughly from me this morning he cried and whinced with pain !!! Every time I say anything, it is always "Lets go to the police because your harrassing me" or "Let's go to Immigration and get you deported" .. I fear every knock on my door in case she wakes up one morning and decides today is the day she ruins my life here. I am British, which makes my son automatically British by decent, I have Immigrant status and have been here 4 years non stop.

What can I do to try to gain custody of my son ? I know the "7yr old" rule but feel in this case it should not apply because not only myself, but friends of mine also see how she is and have said she should not be allowed to have a son and be like she is. She has constantly broken the Court Order because she is supposed to turn up at 9am (her decision in Court), she is never here before 10am stating "9am is too early" but she is never late to collect him.

However the police refused to blotter it even it is stated in the Order. Saturday she arrived at 9am for the first time maybe realising I have had enough and I am going to do something about it if I can so she can say she is "changing".

Can I file for unfit mother ? She is unemployed and I notice this and neglect are 2 reasons she can be deemed as unfit. I have more details if required

Many thanks of any advice you can give me

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2 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Wed Oct 26, 2011 11:12 pm

attyLLL


moderator
first, you can start giving P5,000 worth of goods and cash.

the standard you have to prove is that she is unfit, not just that you could be a better parent. do you have documentation and pictures of these things you allege? you have to show that your child is in danger.


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3 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:21 am

Dave S


Arresto Menor
Atty,

Thanx for your reply. Sadly I have no hard evidence of the things she is doing as I deleted all her text explaining the sunburn to me. It was all her family she was with

I told her I am allowed to give goods for the amount of support as I was informed by my original Atty and I was again threatened with "If you don't give the money, I'll find a way to have you deported. Cash only"

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4 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Fri Oct 28, 2011 11:00 pm

attyLLL


moderator
if you are able to document the value of what you are giving, then i don't think any deportation case will prosper.


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5 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Sat Oct 29, 2011 2:59 pm

Dave S


Arresto Menor
She is actually threatening me with deportation due to "abuse of my son"

She tried this when she left me in April with the local police station, they wouldn't even blotter it as she had no evidence (and I have never abused my son ever !). I am known to a few of the police officers and they actually told me she wasn't believed as she had no witnesses or medical evidence to support her claim.

She then called Immigration with the same story and apparently they told her to follow up with a telephone call which she never did but kept threatening me that if I didn't play by her rules, the follow up call would be made..

However, I know she is going to try it again just to stop me seeing my son, this is her aim in life that she wants me to be deprived of access to my son so she doesn't have to keep travelling the 1 hour to bring him to me..

It was even put in the Court Order that I was not allowed to cause physical abuse to my son even though the Judges had said if I had abused my son would he run to me in Court or be held by me and she had to show the medical evidence (which she obviously had to say she didn't have).

Again this morning, she was showing the duty officer in the Police station the Court order, and indicating the "abuse" clause, sadly I did not understand what she was saying however it seemed he was not interested and said to me outside he would introduce me to the investigations officer tomorrow when I return my son.

I feel this has gone far enough and am asking if I can take out some kind of order or injunction against her for this treatment and the slanderous remarks and the threats she makes ?

This is totally wearing me down and I feel forever depressed with her behavior

Any help appreciated

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6 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Sat Oct 29, 2011 10:09 pm

attyLLL


moderator
file a motion in the same court to allow you to give in part kind not full cash and request an accounting of the money you have given.


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7 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:59 pm

Dave S


Arresto Menor
Thanks AttyLLL ... Will do that as a start

Better to have it in writing so if she says anything I have the proof. I will inform her of my decision today at 5pm

again, many thanks

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8 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Sun Oct 30, 2011 7:30 pm

concepab


Reclusion Perpetua
Hi Dave, my friend have the same story like yours. try to hire a PI to gather evidence.

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9 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:05 am

Dave S


Arresto Menor
That's also an option I am considering concepab

Yesterday, took my son back at 5pm as per Court Order, walked in the Police station, hadn't even let go of our son and heard the shout of "Where's my money, give it to me now"

Seems to me the money is more important to her than seeing our son after 2 days, and sadly why is it more important when it is my son's money for support and not hers ?

Consequently, the police officer who was standing nearby warned her that any more outbursts like that and action would be taken by them...

Now I need hard evidence that she is indeed using the money for her own needs and not on my son as he seems to have lost weight within the 1 week I have not seen him and was eating so much at my home I had to slow him down in case he got sick.

I also asked her yesterday to sign a receipt for the money and to sign for all previous money given, she took the papers, read them and ripped them up and laughing said "I am signing nothing, you can try to prove you have given me the money when I start saying you haven't" .. Very sad

My next action is the letter from Court and will have put in that she must sign to say goods and/or money received after I get the full advisory from an attorney .. No offence attyLLL as you have already stated it but I need representing in Court for this

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10 Re: Requiring advice about my son on Mon Oct 31, 2011 5:42 pm

attyLLL


moderator
always, the best advice here is to retain your own attorney


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