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Father's Right To A Legitimate Child's (Minor) Custody

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househusband


Arresto Menor
Hello po. I hope someone can help me in my problem.

Ako po yung matatawag na "house husband", meaning ako nag-aalaga sa daughter namin ng wife ko for most of her life. Nasa abroad po kasi wife ko. I am unemployed but I do have a source of income (i do freelance work in web design and graphics design) pero hindi po regular yung income. Gusto ko man magkaroon ng job, hindi ko po magawa kasi hindi maaalagaan ng mabuti ang anak ko, she's 6 years old, kaya dito na lang ako sa bahay nagta-try na kumita.

Nung kakaalis pa lang ng wife ko, pinatira namin ang aming anak sa parents nya kasi nag-enrol ako for a short term course para naman magkaron ako ng chance na makatulong din sa wife ko sa pagtratrabaho. During this time, regular ko po binibisita anak namin at napapansin ko lagi umiiyak pag aalis na ako, gusto nya sumama. Naawa ako sa bata kasi 4yrs old pa lng sya nun kaya pagkatapos ng course ko (6 months), in-attempt kong isama na ang bata sa akin. Dun po nagsimula problema kasi gusto ng mga in-laws ko iwan na ang bata dun ng tuluyan at maghanap na lang daw ako ng trabaho kasi nagpapakahirap daw asawa ko dun. Naiintindihan ko naman sentiment nila kaso ang inaalala ko yung personal and emotional growth ng anak namin if lalaki siya na malayo lagi sa magulang. So pinilit ko na kinuha anak ko pero without ever resorting to threats or bad language. After all, thankful pa rin ako sa pagtulong nila sa amin. Nagsumbong sila sa asawa ko binastos ko daw sila at right there and then, nag-decide na makipaghiwalay na sa akin ang asawa ko.

So hiwalay na kami sa salita. She stopped providing money to me and to our daughter, 2 years pong ganun. Every year umuuwi sya, binibigay ko nman kusa yung bata sa kanya. Sa kagustuhan kong magkabalikan kami, pumayag ako na kunin ng mga in-laws ko ang bata kung gusto nila. Pero parang inaaubuso naman nila kasi kung kukunin nila yung anak namin, sasabihin lang "Kunin namin sya mamaya". Hindi naman nila madalas kinukuha ang bata pero pag kukunin nga nila eh ganun ang salita nila, hindi man lang sila makapagpaalam ng maayos. Maano naman kung sabihin nila "PWEDE kunin namin sya mamaya". At least ina-acknowledge nila na ako ang may final say sa matter. Pero the way they do it, hindi nila nire-recognize and authority ko as the father of my child. After letting this go on for almost 2 years, nito lang I ask them nicely na sana naman ipaalam nila ng mabuti ang bata. Nagalit sila. Sabi nila paimportante daw ako eh hindi naman daw ako importante. Na bobo daw ako, istupido, batugan, sira ulo. Hindi ko sinabayan galit nila pero i-explain ko kung gaano kasimpleng gawin yung gusto ko.

Nagsumbong ulit sila sa asawa ko at sinabi binastos ko daw sila ulit, and this time uuwi daw ang asawa ko at sinabi nya using very harsh and demeaning words na hindi ko na daw makikita anak ko pagkakuha nya.

Yung po problema ko ngayon. I fear I may not see my daughter anymore once kinuha na sya ng wife ko kasi malabo po ata chance ko to gain full custody of our child. Pero makukuntento na po ako sa regular visitation as long as yung wife ko kasama ng bata kasi nga minor pa rin sya. Ito po mga tanong ko:

1. What are my chances of getting full custody? How about equally shared custody between my wife and I?

2. If my wife gets full custody, can I stop her from bringing our child abroad para mabisita ko nman yung bata regularly?

3. If she has full custody, can she use that to bypass my parental authority sa bata and grant custody sa magulang nya in case she goes back abroad?


I have a very healthy relationship with our daughter. In fact, mas close pa nga po sa akin yung bata kasya sa mother nya kasi since birth ako na nag-aalaga.

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househusband


Arresto Menor
anyone? Masyado ata mahaba. Simplify ko na lang:

1. If my legal wife will be granted custody of our 6yr old daughter, will she be free to take the child abroad and live there?

2. Are there some steps you can recommend that I can do to stop this from happening?

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concepab


Reclusion Perpetua
your wife cannot ask the court to stop you from seeing your child, it is against the law. unless you are a treat to your daughter.

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househusband


Arresto Menor
Thank you for the answer.

You said she can't stop me from seeing our daughter, but can she make it difficult for me to see her? Like, what if she decides to take the child abroad and say that she's not stopping me, that I can still visit her there if I can?

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attyLLL


moderator
you are not legally obligated to allow visitation by grandparents, but not by your wife.

try to get your wife to delay filing any case until your child reaches 7 so that her preference will be considered by the court.

i doubt if your wife will be willing to let go of her ofw job to stay here, and rare is the judge who will let a child leave his jurisdiction.


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househusband


Arresto Menor
Thanks attorney!

I always voluntarily give our child to her mother whenever she's here in the Philippines, no questions ask. Our family would've been a lot more peaceful kahit separated kami if my in-laws would just let us be, or at least to not over-exert their authority, or if they can practice common courtesy.

My wife knows the "7yr old child" rule, and she'll do her best to file custody now, and I'm not 100% sure she's not willing to quit her job. Maybe she is, but at least they'll stay here and I can have visitation rights, can't I? I think it would also be better if she tries her hand at rearing a child. Maybe she'll realize it's not as easy as she thinks it is.

One last question po attorney, how long do custody cases last? Will my wife need to be here to file one, and for the entire duration of the case? Same question na din po regarding sa legal separation and annulment. Thank you so very much.

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attyLLL


moderator
years. she does not have to be here, but it weakens her case


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Warning and Disclaimer: I am not your lawyer; and you are not my client. With the limitations of an  Internet forum, a thorough review of your concern is not possible. View my comments at YOUR OWN RISK. It is best to actually retain a lawyer for your individual concerns.
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